Because I am always running so ragged, If I get an opportunity to spend a few moments with my children that are actually quality moments, I really take notice. Usually I have a laptop or a BlackBerry connected to me and I am giving them half of my attention.
So last night after work I stepped outside with them for an hour or so – leaving all things connected indoors - and we played in the sandbox. As we were playing the boys started to make “kid soup.” We had perfectly fine, beautiful, clean sand in our buckets and they started grabbing all kinds of items to add to it – grass, rocks, sticks, etc.
My first impulse was to think, “What the hell are you doing to this perfectly beautiful, clean sand we have? Don’t mess it up!”
But I caught myself. And I reminded myself that all day long I am controlling things. Sometimes, letting go of control is good. What do I care if the sand is not pristine? That soup we made and pretended to eat was delicious. And full of healthy ingredients, too – love, laughter, imagination.
Sounds corny, I know. But letting go of control and embracing a little chaos once in a while is good – and it’s one of the many wonderful lessons my children continue to teach me every single day.
Thanks, boys.
What a great moment in time. I’m constantly amazed at how much a (now) 18-lb being who can’t even talk teachs me about real life. I’m also the type that was “always in total control” of everything. I even planned when to have children (my husband and I waited 11 years!) When my son arrived last year, I realized how I could let go - and life actually became much easier! I’m thankful every day for him and the lessons learned. With the gift of parenthood comes chaos - I’m much better at going-with-the-flow and loving every second of it. I can’t wait to have a sandbox-moment too!
Sarah the Spunky Mommy @myjezis last blog post..Happy Provider Appreciation Day
How funny… Just yesterday my son filled his sandbox with pebbles from the play area. My first instinct was to yell, since I, too, am big on keeping the sand clean. He did his mixing while I was busy with the baby so we weren’t having quality time just then, but my reasoning for not yelling was thinking ahead… To the time we can spend sitting in the sandbox together sifting out the stones.
Michelle
Oh Christine, I know EXACTLY how you feel! I’m really trying to do my best these days to disconnect from work while I’m around the kids - I hate how I end up only giving them partial attention and then regret it later that night after they’re in bed and I realize that I missed actually SEEING them. I was with them, but not really there, if that makes sense. It’s hard when my laptop is always dinging things at me and making me seem as if I’m constantly needed, but I think I’m going to start just shutting down when I leave to pick the kids up from daycare and not boot up again until after they’re in bed. Wow, I could go on and on about this - might need to do my own post
I’m happy you were able to let go and enjoy the sandbox, I’m slowly learning to let my kids mix their play-doh and paint colors and put the “wrong” clothes on the dolls……..it’s a tough job for a control-freak 
Kate - I am a control freak to the point of my family calling me “Monica” from Friends. That is, if you move a picture in my house… I notice, even if it’s a fraction off. So this is a big thing for me. And the lap top? Pretty sure my kids think it’s an appendage of mine.
Michelle - hey, you take your moments and turn them into order, that’s cool too!
Sarah - when I had my first child, my grandfather send me a card w/ a baby on the front. Inside it said, “Meet your new Boss.” He ain’t kidding
Thanks so all for commenting and reading!
I have had this reaction to my (now) 8 year old all-too-often. You want him to “do it right” and you don’t want him to “mess it up”. But in the end, it doesnt matter. Chances are some neighborhood cats are using that sand anyway (KIDDING, maybe! You do cover it, right?!)
Anyway, I read once about a mom who’s son picked the milk container up out of the fridge and because he didn’t have the right grip on it, it fell to the ground. It spilled everywhere and she gasped. She then sat down with him and drew pictures and squiggly lines in the milk with her son before cleaning it up. She then showed him the right way to hold it, so it wouldn’t spill again. He went on to be some genius researcher who looked at things from a different angle. It’s also like the paper towel commercial where the kid shakes the orange soda and squirts his mom at the sink with it. She replies “BILLY! That isnt how you do it” and takes the kitchen sprayer and soaks him back.
The end result from all of that is we need to step back now-and-again and realize that it’s not that important to fuss over the mess and imperfections of our kids. It’s important that we enjoy everything they do, as frustrating as 3/4 of that will be. And it’s important we give them the tools to grow up as wonderful as we are! Or do our best, anyway!
I love this post, I feel the same way about our sand! I just have to let it go. Go ahead, mess it up, get dirty….you deserve it. Well said, lesson learned!
ellinghouses last blog post..bored