For my first official post on This Mommy Blog, I’m going to recycle a post that I wrote about two years ago (I can see Kate rolling her eyes from here!). But really, I have a point.

Years ago when I first started blogging, I wrote about lots of things - my children included. Why? Because it is who I am.

And then the criticisms started.

And for half a second, I felt angry. And then mostly I felt sad. Sad because there is this bizarre need to put labels on people.

This post came out of those feelings.

It’s as true today as it was then. A few things have changed: I’ve gained a few pounds, added a new baby, written a few more blog posts since then and kind of parlayed “this mommy gig” into something more. But the crux of the post remains the same.

I’m very pleased to be here with these other great moms. I look forward to adding my two cents (and oh yeah, I will) on parenting, working (or not) and figuring out “this mommy gig.” Thanks for reading!

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I am a mommy blogger. Yep, it’s true, I (gasp) blog about being a mom. Somehow, that has become synonymous with anti-feminism. How did this happen?

I know, I know, I’ve posted about this before, more or less when I first started blogging. But that was over a year ago - since then, I’ve had another baby, started even more exciting projects and otherwise learned a lot. So why even bring this “mommy blog” subject up now? I saw something that bothered me. I am a member of a group of bloggers (BlogHer) and recently read a rather uneven criticism of mommy bloggers. I won’t dignify the comments by linking to them because I don’t think it serves any real purpose, but I did want to respond to them on my blog - my mommy blog.

The comments were that, more or less, the blogger was annoyed by mommy blogs because she felt that they “cheapened” serious blogs written by women “by reducing blogging by women to the mommy track, with a side of fashion and diet.” She also implied that it was antithetical to combine feminism and parenting.

I just can’t figure out where that kind of anger comes from. But we women do this kind of thing a lot, don’t we? We judge and rant to each other for the choices that we make in a way that men would never do. I read a number of blogs written by men about their families including the excellent The Long Cut (editor’s note: since on hiatus) and Laid-Off Dad and have never once heard a criticism of the “dad blogs”. Men read such things, they like them or they don’t and they move on. Why can’t women do the same? If you peg my blog or any similar blog as simply a “mommy blog” and you don’t enjoy it, feel free to move on to something more your style. I’ll be okay, really.

But more than that, it disturbs me that there is a perception that writing about family somehow cheapens “serious” blogs. I think the inference is, really, that caring about motherhood limits who you are. It most certainly does not.

First of all, those of us who are mothers are never “just” mothers. We are daughters and sisters and aunts and cousins and friends and wives. We are writers and gardeners and cooks and mechanics and knitters and historians and politicians and policy-makers and musicians and artists and entrepreneurs and volunteers. We go interesting places. We do interesting things. We meet interesting people. And some of us also work outside of the home. We have a lot going on. Why wouldn’t we want to share it in a meaningful way?

Further, the inference that raising your children somehow robs you of any real substance is insulting. The whole point of starting my blog when I did was because in raising my children, I have learned a lot more about myself and the world. I’ve learned to put things into perspective, to focus on things that are important to me. Most of all, I’ve learned that growing up is not a process that ends when you leave your parents’ house. Children make you realize that you’re not as smart as you think, or as put together as you think. There is always something more. I’m still figuring my life out - now with a twist (okay, three little twists), hence the title, Mommy Grows Up (now Lawmummy).

And what have I learned? Having my children have reminded me that I’m smart. I’m resourceful. I’m occasionally witty. I’m determined. I care about others. I’m not a quitter. As corny as it sounds, my children make me want to (to paraphrase “As Good as it Gets”) be a better person.

I love writing my lawmummy blog - it is such a huge part of who I am. Of my blogs (I contribute to several), it is the one that I enjoy writing the most and the one that is the most popular. I don’t think it “cheapens” at all the “serious” blogs that I write for my law firm: taxgirl and erblawg, one of which has recently been picked up by a professional blogging service (more on that in weeks to come).

You see, becoming a mom has not made me any less interesting, it hasn’t somehow sucked all of the knowledge about other things out of my brain. I have two post college degrees (a JD and LLM Taxation) and I still use them. I am President of our local development corporation. I volunteer for SeniorLaw Project, Philadelphia Volunteer Lawyers for the Arts, Lawyers Without Borders and more.
I’m also seeking an agent right now for a novel that I completed a month or so again (it’s a legal mystery with a little bit of romance thrown in for good measure). If anything, motherhood makes me more interesting and more well-rounded (unfortunately, really well-rounded in some areas!).

And perhaps because of my daughters, I am more acutely aware of women’s issues than ever. I have always voted and believed in a woman’s right to a quality education (so important because of my experiences in my little Southern town); I have always considered myself a feminist. But now, when I look at my daughters, having choices for women is even more important to me. I want my daughters to go to any school that they want, study any subject that they want and have any career that they want (except for, as we always say, lawyer and exotic dancer - and we’re willing to bend on exotic dancer). You see, I care even more now about ensuring and promoting the rights of women not in spite of motherhood but because of it.

So, if you don’t enjoy reading about my children, no need to stop by my blog. But you’d be remiss in thinking that my whole life is about my children, or that my children somehow limit me to “the mommy track, with a side of fashion and diet.” In addition to “mommy topics” like breastfeeding and balancing work and home, I’ve blogged about abortion, the religious right and child abuse.

You’re also wrong to think that my blogs as a mommy - and similar mommy blogs written by my peers cheapen anything. If anything, we add value. We provide a unique and important perspective that is often neglected in the media. Without us, the blogosphere would be a lot less interesting.

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Tags: blogging, lawmummy, mommy blog, mother, motherhood, parenting, working mother