Comments on: Playdates? But WHEN?

By: Nancy

Nancy — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 13:41:05 +0000

Hi,

I was just searching the internet because I feel bad that my kids have not had a playdate all this week. It is the last week before school starts and I just feel exhausted. I have 3 kids, ages 10, 5 and 3. All different age groups wanting different things and pulling you in all different directions. But the Mommy guilt sets in anyway. We did go to the town pool yesterday and they did interact one on one with kids there. When school starts the playdates seem even more scarce for my 10 yr. old because all his friends are in 3 or 4 different activities. So if you are not in those activities, you don’t see these kids on playdates. I also live in Hudson Valley, NY. About 20 minutes from Manhattan, I guess I am a weirdo too since I am not in a rural area. I am in a suburb. Just had to vent a little!!

By: Lisa Russell has 6 daughters

Lisa Russell has 6 daughters — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 17:32:58 +0000

I gave up on those parenting magazines a long time ago, except for one. You’ll never find that crap in Mothering Magazine. My 5 and almost 3 yr old play with friends their age on an average of once a week. Granted, I have a lot of children in my house (six) ages 14, 11, 7, 5, almost 3 and 6mos - I think it’s odd to imagine that pre-schoolers would be teaching each other positive social skills. I think a better suggestion would be that they interact with children of all ages regularly and don’t spend too much time with kids their own age. But that’s just me.

Lisa Russell has 6 daughterss last blog post..My 9-5 job

By: Dave

Dave — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 20:37:59 +0000

As my wife (staying at home) and I had baby 3, we kind of ran out of patience with expert advice. Playdates, when you are stay at home parenting, are not some sort of medicinal dose of social interaction for the kids, they are a sanity-saving thing (for the parent) to do because sitting at home all day with no plan is a recipe for disaster. But if you are working away from home and the kids are in daycare/preschool, I can’t see why you’d need to have playdates. Experts and hyperparents spend too much time trying to train and condition their children instead of living by example and just reassuring the kids they are loved.

Daves last blog post..New Time Religion

By: Sherry

Sherry — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 16:38:53 +0000

One of the best parts of my day is getting to be with my son in the evenings. Ditto on the weekends. If I’m scheduling playdates for him during those times, when do I get to play with him? Nope, he gets plenty of play time with other kids at daycare, thank you very much. Yet another parenting thing I’m doing “wrong” that I’m fine with :).

By: Andrea

Andrea — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 14:06:31 +0000

I think that sometimes magazines just need to fill their pages so they can sell ads, KWIM? All these “supposed-to-do’s”…..not good if they make us feel like we’re not good enough. Social interaction –isn’t that what siblings are for - built-in playdates with no scheduling needed?
Kate, something tells me your kids are just fine w/you as their mom.

Andreas last blog post..Social Dynamics and Learning: Online and Off

By: Becko

Becko — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 13:06:52 +0000

Kate - I agree with you. There is just not enough time in a day to do everything “experts” say we should. If I remember to give my oldest (19 months) his vitamin MOST days of the week, I consider it a success. Play dates are just not feasible. Perhaps when the kids are older, say 3 or 4 years old, but not now.

Beckos last blog post..Twitter in PR

By: DeAnna

DeAnna — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 13:01:24 +0000

Why is that they “so called” experts always want to make us feel like we are not parenting the way we should. I am lucky if I fit in a play date every week in a 1/2 or so. He get’s interaction through other organized activities (MDO during the school year, some play dates, Sunday school, & community organized activities) and lots of time with mom and dad (who both work from home). My 2yo appears to be progressing nicely and is always courteous and polite. Others, not so much. I had an incident just yesterday with a playground bully where the parent did absolutely nothing. Pushing, hitting, and picking on my 2yo (he was 5). Then telling me “NO & spitting” when I tried to get my child out of harms way. What did my child learn? That hitting to make your self feel better is Okay. The same happens during play dates at my own home with people and children I know. Well thanks but no thanks. I will continue with my path of raising a socially conscious child thank you and scheduling play dates as needed for his interaction.