#3 is the flashing-neon-sign for me when I consider this. He absolutely loves what he does (despite the noon calls home hearing about the trials of their mornings). So much so that he wants to have more and never go back to work (work by salary, that is).

I know that many women work and men stay at home. It is not as far fetched today as it was decades ago. When I first met Eric, he said he wanted to be a stay-at-home dad for a living. Luck has it, we’ve both begun satisfying our professional goals.
Professional goals aside, I am still stuck with mommy-guilt. Things like parent-teacher conferences, prep-work, grading, coaching high school softball, meetings and other teacher-baggage bring me to tears sometimes on my drive to school. What loving parent actually wants to leave before SON wakes up and gets home after SON goes down for the night? Noone.
Remedy: I’ve concluded that it’s up to me to share those guilty feelings with people who can lend an ear. It is important for me to soak up minutes with my son when I get to be with him (summer rocks for teachers!). It is also important for me to offer praise to my husband for his work in this partnership. Why praise? Because I know darn well if I were to stay home, crazy as I may be (thanks mom), I would need to recognized for my child-rearing efforts. That, my friends, is why I go to work. At work, I don’t need to be thanked or commended. I get that “feel good” compliment from teacher-student relationships and the satisfaction of another year in the books.

Proud to be a sugar mama too!

P.S. I’m trying to encourage my husband to start a compliation of advice for dads. I feel he could really share his experience with the masses. He is just lucky enough to get to Packers.com daily, much less blog!

Lauras last blog post..Remedial Academia is no Laughing Matter

Sherry - there is part of me that is thankful that I’m financially independent and self-sufficient on a very conscious level.

Kate - The conference call is my worst nightmare when I’m “on duty.” Actually did one this morning while Braxton slept and I was on the back porch so I wouldn’t wake him.

Ken - I love that these struggles aren’t sugar mama specific! Thanks for sharing your experience, too.

I was really unsure about writing this post - as you might imagine, it was fueled by a “debate” that we had the day I wrote it. I even went back a couple of times to make sure that I wasn’t being whiny about the situation. I’m glad I did! What great feedback. Thank you.

Kelli Matthewss last blog post..How to Stand Out in a Sea of Interns

In short, my wife and I constantly have discussions regarding responsibilities and what not as she stayed home with our little for almost 5 years now. She once told me that she calculated that what she did around the house as around $100k+ / year based on costs of daycare, house-cleaning, laundry services, meal preparation, etc.

I used to be resentful that she would hand “the kid” to me when I walked in the door, since I would relax; She would build resentment because I didn’t understand her position.

Since she has started back to school, and is quickly beginning a career, we find ourselves balancing all of the responsibilities. To your article, though, I believe each relationship must find its center, it’s sweetspot, it’s balance - if it is too survive.

It sounds like there is a lot that is working for you, but just like in business, a relationship is simply that constant dance. My opinion would be that if you and your family are finding the balance equitable and you all enjoy the fruits of each others’ labors - then you are “in the green”.

Ken Stewarts last blog post..The Managed Print Services Series: Now Available for Download

I’m not in your spot as far as earning power, but am SO in your spot as far as working from home. I haven’t found a way (and have MANY issues with) to manage the combination of work/parenting when I’m at home with the rest of the family. We’ve had too many disagreements about this and too many tense moments (like when I’m on a conference call in my office and my husband is dealing with 2 screaming children) for me to be able to offer any advice! I hope others will chime in here

Now my Fella and I are trying to figure out how we want to structure our home life. He’s getting his MBA now and working a job for very little money, but a lot of experience, so I’m still the breadwinner. The difference is that when he starts his “career” job, he’ll outearn me significantly. I’m a little worried about how that will feel to me!

Not that you want to think about this, but I was in a much more secure financial situation than a lot of women when their husbands die. Since I had already been the breadwinner and paid all the bills, there was no searching for documents or worrying that I wouldn’t be able to support my family.

There is no “right” way to structure your family, but it is helpful to hear how other people work it!