Kate Olson is a mother of 2 toddlers and lives in rural Wisconsin. She balances motherhood & working from home in a semi-functional fashion - you can read more about Kate on our contributors page. She blogs about education and lots of business/tech stuff at Kate Says . Want more? Read all of Kate’s posts!

Shame on me. I was appalled at myself this week when I found myself almost pulling the mommy card after making an error on a project. Yes, I made a mistake. I owned up to it immediately. I’m human.

What’s the mommy card?

Oh, you know. The “I didn’t have daycare today” and “My son was up late last night so I didn’t get enough sleep” and “My daughter was throwing mac and cheese at the dog” and “Ha, ha, just call it mommy brain” junk we all pull at some time or another to get out of something or excuse ourselves for screwing up.

I used to hate the person I am now.

No, this isn’t some sort of self-loathing thing, don’t worry. I just mean that when I was newly out of college, 21, and just starting out as an accountant, I SO used to resent the moms I worked with. Why was it ALWAYS ok for them to miss work? Why could they leave early when I couldn’t? Why could they take personal phone calls at work when I couldn’t? Why was my socializing late at night and being tired the next day worse than their tiredness from whatever makes moms tired? Why couldn’t I leave to take my puppy to the vet to get her spayed? Why couldn’t I talk about MY breasts at work?

Mainly I just resented the fact that pretty much every boss I had automatically accepted the mommy card for everything - me, I had nothing. My “new puppy card” just didn’t work as well and the “my best friend is in town from Atlanta card” didn’t go over so hot either. How about “my sister just had a baby“? Well, that was accepted a bit more, but with a sort of condescension.

Now I’m that woman. I’ve caught myself feeling this somewhat righteous indignation when I make a mistake or am late for something or can’t take on a project - like, “Hey, I have KIDS!!!!! Don’t you UNDERSTAND?”

You know what? Society owes me NOTHING for bearing children. Nothing at all. When I screw up, I deserve any fallout that comes with it and do NOT own the right to throw in my mommy card to get out of it. I need to suck it up, move on, and not offer excuses. Who’s fault is it that I was late? Mine. And no one CARES that it was indirectly because of my offspring. Not their problem. Maybe I took on too much, maybe I should have had a sitter, maybe I should have made lunch earlier - whatever.

Perhaps I was catching up for all that time when I was on the other side of the fence. Maybe this being my first year back in the “real world” after being a SAHM for 2 years skewed my perspective. I know there are powerful career women/mothers out there who are absolutely CRINGING while reading this, thinking that women like me are the reason moms can’t get ahead in the world.

I hereby declare that my mommy card is torn up in little bits in the trash. Gone. I’m no longer throwing my children in the line of fire to save myself. Family comes first and I need to make sure I prioritize as such - it’s my responsibility to make sure work doesn’t get in the way of that - no one else’s.

And to all you non-moms out there who hate women who act like I did, I understand. Childless women ARE discriminated against and I’m sorry.