In September of 2007, Jon, Jacqui and Drew Becker (and their two cats Willie and Ubie) left the familial comforts of New York and relocated to Richmond, Virginia. There, Jon works as an assistant professor of educational leadership at Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU); Jacqui works part-time in the VCU Counseling Center and maintains a small, private psychotherapy practice. Jon also blogs at Educational Insanity. Read more about Jon on the Dads page…
Last week, Drew (now 3, going on 33) took a renewed interest in a set of animal finger puppets he’s had since birth. My brilliant wife Jacqui decided to use the puppets as an opportunity to introduce Drew to the idea of preschool (he’ll be starting preschool in the Fall). So, one puppet (the butterfly he named “Boopy”) was designated the teacher; the others were the students. When it came time for me to join in, Drew asked me to be the teacher. No problem. So, in my best butterfly voice, I said, “OK, now is time for free play. All students can go do whatever they’d like. The sandbox. The arts & crafts table. The blocks.” Drew gave me the evil eye (which is actually quite cute, I must say) and said profoundly, “NO. The teacher has to tell them what to do!” [NOTE: As I'm writing this, I'm realizing that those early classes he did with Jacqui at Gymboree may be to blame; he was always the only kid in those classes who followed the teacher's directions step-by-step].
This interaction concerned me. NOT because it made me believe that humans are inherently predisposed to direct instruction, but because Jacqui and I made a very conscious decision to send Drew to a preschool that espouses AND enacts the Reggio Emilia approach to early childhood education. That means that there will be lots of “free play” and (hopefully) not much teacher-directed learning. I’m an educator and Jacqui’s a psychologist and we both very much believe in learning-by-doing and learning by constructing meaning and learning in relationship to others and, and, and… Does his reaction to me indicate that he’s expecting structure? Didn’t he get the memo?
I’m also reminded of an article I read on ESPN.com around Fathers Day. LZ Granderson wrote a great article about his 11 year-old son’s desire to give up playing sports to learn photography. Granderson’s a sportswriter and a huge sports fan, so this decision by his son was hard to accept. Well, I’m not a sportswriter, but I am a huge sports fan. And before we had a child, I had all kinds of thoughts and dreams about playing sports with my child. I was going to coach little league baseball and softball. I couldn’t wait.
To this point, Drew has shown very little interest in playing with balls or watching sports with daddy. He also just had his 3-year checkup at the doctor. His height has been consistent…consistently at the 3rd percentile. Our doctor in NY said, “someone has to be at the 3rd percentile!” But, he has to love sports. I have to coach him in little league. Didn’t he get the memo?
I’m quite mindful of Christian’s earlier post here and our tendency to make too much out of brief singular moments in the life of our first child. But, I do have to remind myself from time to time that Drew’s life is an open book. I cannot write the chapters ahead of time. I need to do what I expect at least his preschool teachers to do and let him make his own meaning of the world.
Then again, Christian, if he wants to become a Red Sox fan, I’ll have to do something about that. I mean, didn’t he get the memo?
We’ll skip over the assumed Yankees obsession of Drew’s papa, expecting that if the little man wants to don his beloved BoSox (wink) cap…that his papa is gonna get out of the way as destiny takes its seat at the playgroup table.
No doubt a fascinating discussion could arise from the “where did he/she learn that one?” category. The classic/traditional “game” or “socialization process” of school is crazy powerful, no doubt, even when you bring the Reggio Emilia big guns to the table.
Appreciated your “open book” comment. Indeed!
He will NOT be a member of Red Sox Nation. THAT chapter of the book has been written. (-:
And, where DID he learn that one? “The teacher has to tell them what to do…” The social science, educationalist in me about fainted.
Jon Beckers last blog post..Change and Mutual Adaptation
I love the issues you brought up here! I think the idea of teacher-led classrooms is VERY embedded in our society - just take a look at many of the books you read to your kiddo (and TV, but not sure he watches any?), you’ll probably be surprised to find all of the subtle and not-so-subtle references to “classroom order” and such. My 2 year old LOVES the Arthur books and the entire series is a lesson in teacher-led classrooms, if you want to dig that deep
That being said, I really do think some of us just follow better than others and react better to formal leadership. Who knows, another child brought up identically might have had a different reaction………you know, the whole nature/nurture thing, it’s a great fallback when there just IS no explanation!
I dropped my 4-yr old daughter at her swm lesson / “summer adventure ” half day camp today and it is a strange feeling to just let them go…it is fun to see them becoming independent. September, she goes to her second year of preschool. I think the principal value in preschool to the child is to socialize with other kids and have more fun than they would at home “helping” Mom with the 2.5 yr old terror and 5mo old infant. I’m glad our preschool has a philosophy behind the activities they do, but I’m wary of any program that caters to competitive, hyper-parents. Bottom line really is if the kids enjoy going…if they look forward to it, that’sgood enough for me. I think we should call it “playschool” instead of preschool.
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or, @Dave, maybe fee-for-playdate service.
Jon Beckers last blog post..Change and Mutual Adaptation