Back in July, I posed a question here about extracurricular activities and how much is too much? My girl was getting ready to start kindergarten and I was stressing over whether to sign her up for ballet or gymnastics or both.

In the end, I pushed aside my own deep desire to raise a prima ballerina and asked her what she wanted to do. That turned out to be gymnastics.

Then, her daddy jumped into the fray pushing piano lessons. I’d initially decided to go with the recommendation to limit it to just one after-school activity at her age, but I really have hoped she would inherit her father’s musical talent and he found someone right in the neighborhood who taught out of her home. Thirty minutes a week didn’t seem like that much more, so I went with it.

My question this time is, how long is long enough to tell you child they must try an activity before quitting?

After the first gymnastics lesson where she appeared to be enjoying herself, my girl had a complete melt down in the car on the way home. Gymnastics was too hard! She didn’t want to go again! Well, my pragmatic side immediately said she had to at least finish out the month because we’d already paid for it. But, another side of me wanted her to learn that not everything will come to her as easy as her academics seem to be doing, and that she would have to work at some things in life. So, I held the line and two lessons later she was loving gymnastics.

Six weeks into piano lessons the same turnaround has not happened. Her complaints are very similar – it’s too hard, but also “boring.” Her teacher says she is doing very well and is even ahead of another student the same age who started at the same time. But getting her to practice is like pulling teeth! Actually, it’s harder because her first tooth fell out last weekend with ease, but it was painful for both of us to simply complete two pages in her theory workbook last night. She’s asking to quit. Dad’s not ready for it. I suggested maybe trying just through the end of the year, but neither of them seemed to like that idea.

Do a Google blog search on “quit AND piano” and there is certainly no shortage of discussions on this topic. There are the students who are contemplating it, the teachers who are agonizing over it and reminiscers who are regretting it years later. I myself fall into the latter category – sorta. I do wish I could play, but don’t really have fond memories of the three years I took without ever really learning to read music (I was really good at just memorizing what the teacher showed me and faking my way through).

So are some people just naturals at music and others not? Is six weeks long enough to find out? What are your experiences around this topic?

Laura P. Thomas is the wife of a former rocker and mother of one 6-year-old girl that’s already waaay too interested in The Jonas Brothers. (the apple didn’t fall far) She works in the Global Online team at Dell, evangelizes virtual worlds, and twitters too much as LPT.

This is part of a series of posts looking at virtual worlds targeted toward kids.

Augmentation or immersion? It’s a popular debate among the virtual world crowd. Do people enjoy virtual worlds for the escapism they can allow when you fully immerse yourself into another character? Or, do virtual worlds simply augment your current life by allowing new ways to interact with information and other people? Studies of teens have shown that they tend to fall into the augmentation crowd - socially playing online games with others that they already know. The subject of our latest virtual world exploration has really landed on how to capitalize on that with an even younger set.

Pixie Hollow

In beta for quite some time, Disney’s Pixie Hollow officially opened October 23 - two days before the fairies debuted at the Magic Kingdom and five days before the Tinker Bell movie comes out on DVD. And if all that cross-promotion wasn’t enough, the real jewels in the crown in my opinion are the toys. Sure there have been Disney Fairies toys for a while, but the dolls my girl had already collected are nothing like these new Fairies toys. I’d heard Steve Parkis mention them at his Virtual Worlds Expo keynote and was most amazed at the scenario he painted where two girls could meet on the playground, touch their bracelets together and then go home to find their virtual Fairies already connected in-world. Oh, and for the kids who already have cell phones, there’s a mobile option through which users can use their phones to create butterflies as pets for their fairies!

Pixie Hollow is free to play, although there is an option to do more for a monthly fee of $5.95. During our weekend excursion in-world, however, we found plenty to do without going in for the membership option. You can create up to three fairies. You can design clothes for them that are either yours exclusively or available to the entire community. You can play games with fireflies, fish, spiderwebs and probably more we didn’t find. Your fairie has a home and a few bits of furniture with which to furnish it. You can chat with other fairies, although we found very few that would talk back to us. Through the parental controls (pictured below with the more matronly fairie) you have the option to allow free chat or restrict chat to a preset list of options.

The Good
I can’t say enough about the fantastic graphics of this world. To quote my girl “what a pretty place!” The images are pure Disney animation style and create a natural fantasy land that really invites you to explore. If you have sound turned on, you get soothing background noise that coordinates perfectly, as well. When flying close to the water you hear the babble of a brook, but fly higher in the same spot and the water sounds fade out to be replaced by chirping birds or soft breezes.
It’s easy to learn how to maneuver your fairy by moving your mouse across the screen which creates a nice flowing feel to fairy flight. When moving from one “meadow” to a “vale” or into a particular game, the flight is much more reminiscent of a Second Life teleport. Even then, however, my girl said “I like when my fairy flys. She looks so cute!”

The Bad
I really can’t find much bad to say about this world unless you’re one to worry about “the conflation between consumption and consumerism and citizenship” due to all the cross-marketing between the virtual and the real world toys and merchandise. Me, I’m not one to fight the Disney machine because as much as I may lament the amount of my money they get, this time of year, I’m still much happier to spend it on a princess costume than some Bratz costume.

The Lessons Learned
My girl’s first instinct when furnishing her room was to try to drag and drop items, but she quickly adapted to the click and download format of this world. Flying by moving her mouse was also different from using the arrow keys as she has done for most of the worlds we previously visited. But, again she easily adapted and picked up on the new user interface.
Flying around picking up “ingredients” such as berries, dandylion fluff, sunflower seeds and other in-world currency can be addictive. It’s just so easy and so much fun - like an online Easter egg hunt that can go on for hours before you realize it. It can also take a lot of time to customize your fairy due to the large number of options available. However, considering that the number one thing my girl always asks to do when she sees me in Second Life is to change my clothes and hair, that’s something right up the alley of their target audience.
Overall, it’s a definite thumbs up from us and I predict many returns.

Laura P. Thomas is the wife of a former rocker and mother of one 6-year-old girl that’s already waaay too interested in The Jonas Brothers. (the apple didn’t fall far) She works in the Global Online team at Dell, evangelizes virtual worlds, and twitters too much as LPT.

While I fully admit I knew nothing about children before having them, there is one thing I have always known – that I was not going to raise brats. It always irked me when I would see a parent threaten a child with a consequence, only to not follow through when the child continued to disobey. Therefore, even before our first son was born, I made my husband promise that he would not use empty threats; we wouldn’t say anything unless we were prepared to follow through.

And I have stayed true to my word… that is, until a few weeks ago. I had signed Braden (almost four years old) up for swim lessons – five Saturday lessons at the local college. After watching him have a ball in my dad’s pool just weeks before and having me, who swam on my high school team, as his mother, I figured he had the love for swimming in his blood and couldn’t wait to watch him in the water.

The first lesson came and went, and he had gone in for a total of 10 minutes (40-minute lesson), and this was after 30 minutes of crying and saying he wanted to go home. That’s okay. I chalked it up to the fact that it was a new experience and the water was cold. But then the second lesson came, and it was worse than the first. He didn’t want to go anywhere near the water – just balled up next to me and cried. I tried talking to him, but he wouldn’t tell me what was upsetting him so much. So I told him if he wasn’t enjoying the lessons, I would just bring his brother, Devin, the next time instead. This made him even more upset, to which I responded, “Show me you’re having fun, and I’ll keep bringing you. But you have to go in the water. If you don’t go in the water, I’m bringing Devin next time.”

He ended up not going in the water, and I was faced with a decision that was incredibly difficult for me. As I said, I’ve always been one to follow through with what I say, but he had been acting so out of character all-around during that time period, that I didn’t want to deprive him if this was just some short phase he was going through. Yes, perhaps the threat was a little harsh (as one friend said to me); I guess you had to be there to understand what a miserable situation it was for both of us during that entire swim lesson.

I toiled with this decision the entire week following that lesson – not wanting to go back on my word but wanting to believe him when he said he wanted to go and that he would go in the water. “I promise, Mommy.” In the end, his overall attitude did a complete 180 that week and Devin ended up getting sick. Not wanting to take a sick child to the pool, I decided to give Braden one more shot. And I made it clear to him that the only reason he was getting another shot was because Devin was sick.

But I took a different approach this time. Rather than trying throughout the entire lesson to get Braden to go into the pool, before the lesson started, I simply said to him, “Braden, I’m only going to say this once. I love you. Whether you go in the pool or not is completely up to you, and I love you either way. But please understand that if you aren’t enjoying this, then I am going to give Devin a try next time. I signed you up for lessons because I really thought you would have fun.” Well, something sunk in, and he went in for 10 minutes that day and had the biggest smile I had seen on his face yet. The following week, he was in for 20 minutes, and for the last class, he went in for the entire 40 minutes.

Yes, it turned out well, and knowing what I know now, I’m glad I gave Braden one more chance. However, had Devin not been sick, would I have taken him instead of Braden? To be honest, I really don’t know. What would you have done?

Kristen Keller lives in New Jersey with her two young boys, husband and two dogs. In an effort to obtain the perfect work-life balance, Kristen works part-time out of her home office as an independent public relations consultant and spends the rest of her time striving to give her children the same wonderful childhood experience she had. Click here to check out Kristen’s other posts on This Mommy Gig.

I was talking with a new friend last week, and during the conversation, she asked me how I tell Nicholas about his Daddy Mark. This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot, pretty much since the moment that Mark died.

Right after Mark died, I was a little manic about memory. I was so afraid I was going to forget everything. Everything about Mark, about our lives together, about his childhood stories, about the few months that he got to have with Nicholas. These thoughts calmed down after a while, but they were really intense in the first several months after Mark’s death.

To answer her question, I told her that I’m scrapbooking about Mark for Nicholas; but mostly, I’m telling him stories about his Daddy Mark.

I don’t want these talks with Nicholas about Mark to be artificial. I want them to be natural and meaningful, I don’t want to sit down to dinner every night and have “story time” about Mark. Instead, I tell him stories about Mark when one of Mark’s favorite songs come on the radio. When Mark’s favorite television show comes on. My favorite stories are when Nicholas makes a face or a gesture that looks like his Daddy Mark. I jump on those moments to tell Nicholas about his Daddy Mark.

I know too, that Nicholas is getting a lot of stories about Mark through his grandpa and his aunt and uncle.

So, how do you keep memories alive? How do you tell your kids or your spouses about friends, family, loved ones who have passed on (or even just have passed out of your life)? What do you do to try to help them know those people?

This is part of a series of posts looking at virtual worlds targeted toward kids.

The latest stop on our kid-focused virtual worlds safari took us to a world of cute dinosaurs. Dinokids was a major sponsor of the recent Virtual Worlds Conference & Expo, so I not only got their promotional cards in my conference bag, but also got to watch commercials for them prior to every panel and keynote. Not sure if my little review will give them enough return on the money spent for that placement, but here goes. <wink>

Dinokids

One of the first things that struck me about Dinokids is how game-like it seemed. Not that it’s any different in regards to the games it offers in-world – it’s very similar to most of the other kid worlds we’ve visited in regards to the activities offered. No, when I say game-like, I’m talking about the way your dinosaur actually moves around inside the environment. Not having played many video games in quite some time, I still immediately thought of Mario Brothers when I saw ladders and ropes to climb to different levels. This video illustrates it better than I can explain:

In fact, one of the times my girl seemed to be having the most fun in Dinokids was during a game of chase with one of the few other dinos she met in-world, much like what you see in the video.

Speaking of videos, my girl discovered a movie theatre in-world while I had stepped away. She mentioned finding it, but said it just had some “teenager videos” in it – which I immediately made her go back and show me. Turns out they’re running YouTube videos inside Dinokids that appear to be primarily G-rated movie trailers for kid/tween-targeted moves. Whew!

The Good

Dinokids has a definite focus on parental involvement. When we first explored the world, I noticed two types of accounts – authorized and unauthorized. Having seen the subscription model as the main method other kid-focused worlds use to create cash-flow, I just assumed that unauthorized accounts were free and authorized ones cost. Turns out that both are free, but authorized means that a parental account has been created and associated with the child’s account.

This allows the parent to set several parameters for how your child will interact in Dinokids, including not only the choice between pre-programmed responses or free chat, but also setting time limits for how long your child can be logged in during a day. I really like that one as I’ve often thought about setting a timer when my girl gets on the computer to keep myself from losing track of just how long she’s been sitting there.

Also good is the educational element in some of the games such as the math one in the school building. And, dinos can learn about good citizenship and environmental stewardship by picking up trash around their world and placing it into a trash bin to earn eggs (the Dinokids currency).

One other thing I think I would rate “good” that I think is a unique feature in Dinokids is the camera for snapping pics of you and your friends in-world. I can see this as a nice bonus feature. It’s something you have to pay extra for, but gives your little dino a nice scrapbook of snapshots that they wouldn’t be able to grab via your basic screen capture.

The Bad

I’ve had to rewrite much of this section of my post after making the discovery that authorized accounts didn’t cost. Many features that I thought should have been at least partially available to free accounts are available, they just require that you as a parent authorize the account. So, “the bad” section of the post got a lot shorter.

Free or not, one thing I still didn’t really like was the controls for the athletic games such as track. Making your dino run requires hitting the space bar on your keyboard – over-and-over, faster-and-faster. In older users hands like mine, that can be done pretty easily, but in a six-year-old’s hands that repetitive fast motion turns into parent-cringing pounding on the keyboard. And don’t even ask them to try to do that and hit a letter key at the same time to jump over hurdles.

The Lessons Learned

Dinokids just launched as a public beta in September, so you won’t find the traffic numbers of a Club Penguin or Webkinz when your kid is looking for someone to talk to or play with in-world. And, many areas of the world are still under construction. Also, you may encounter bugs with such a new application. My first attempts to authorize my girl’s account didn’t work, and after a nice e-mail exchange with the team in Korea who is building Dinokids, it was determined that a bug in the system didn’t like the underscore character in my e-mail address. They quickly fixed it, and I can feel good about the fact that I’ve helped make it a better process for those who come after me. But, not everyone wants to be an early adopter and deal with the issues that can sometimes bring. Overall, we both liked what we were able to see and my girl has returned several times on her own, so if you’ve got a kiddo who’s crazy about dinosaurs this world is probably a good one for them.

Laura P. Thomas is the wife of a former rocker and mother of one 6-year-old girl that’s already waaay too interested in The Jonas Brothers (the apple didn’t fall far). She works in the Global Online team at Dell, evangelizes virtual worlds, and twitters too much as LPT.

“Some of my friends are on Facebook,” my daughter told me the other day. We were riding in the car, both facing forward, but I noticed her gauge my reaction with a quick sideways glance. “Anyway,” said Caroline, who is 11 going on 41, “I don’t think it’s appropriate.”

Later, I checked out the Facebook profiles of a few names she mentioned, friends who — like Caroline — just started middle school. Because Facebook doesn’t allow users under age 13 who aren’t in high school to set up a profile, the sixth-graders lied about their ages and about what school they attend. I noticed quite a number of them –- maybe 30 or 40 that I recognized. I noticed the profile of one girl’s mother, too, networked with all of those kids.

As I’ve written in the past, social networking is definitely trending younger and younger.  And it’s occasionally an awkward place to network – when I bump into Caroline’s almost 17-year-old brother there, I always politely turn aside like I didn’t actually see him, sort of like if I accidentally walked in on him in the bathroom. It’s just that weird for us to be Facebook “friends.”

Generally, I think it’s fascinating to observe the very definition of a “social circle” shifting and expanding and the notion of “play” expanding as our kids, tweens and teens participate in Runescape, or Club Penguin, or Webkinz.

But at the same time, it gnaws at me to see 11-year-olds on Facebook, using their actual photos, with their actual identities. Setting aside the dishonesty that’s required to open an account for a minute –- and yes, that bugs me — I worry about them exposing too much of themselves online before they can really grasp the implications of it.

Do I want them to start a digital trail before they’ve really had a sense of understanding what’s appropriate to share, and what’s not, what’s okay to talk about, and what’s not? No matter how much I trust my kids, Facebook remains a public forum with very public repercussions. And being a parent for almost 17 years, I’ve learned not to be too surprised when kids have a giant lapse of judgment. Things happen.

Given that my own digital trail is fairly well-traveled, I realize how odd my position might sound. Maybe I should just relax? I thought. So I asked other people – some parents, some not — what they thought, via the microblogging tool Twitter. Here were their responses to the question:

“Would it bother you to see your 11-year-old on Facebook?”

@matthewbennett: surely it’s really easy for teenagers to get around anyway if they want to - “I was really born in ..mmm, let’s see…1956″ … and given that, should probably just teach them how to use it properly.

@melfi: reverse. it would bother me to see my mom on facebook. facebook has become what AIM was 10 years ago for kids

@idaho_jamie: No, because I understand FB and would PARENT him/her and monitor. No different then skateboarding, etc.

@MikeDriehorst: Yes, it would — without my permission. Wife & I (mostly her) very, very cautious about exposing any of our kids’ ID online… With openness of soc media - good and evil - it’s not worth exposing our kids to whoever may be lurking.

@sonnygill: Yes. I think at that age, children need to grow and nurture their friends/relationships through face-to-face interaction… Basically, it’s important for kids at that age to grow their relationship skills, not w/a Facebook page, but w/real-life.

@amachina: YES! I have two kids, 10&12. Not allowed on FB, MySpace. I tell them about [internet predators], but they’re too sheltered to get it.

@Jennydecki: No. My three year old knows what Twitter is. They won’t know how to market products/services if they aren’t familiar.

@rockandrollmama: Yes, it would. I shut my 12 yr old down about FB the other day. He doesn’t get the risks, and there’s no reason for it.

@JessicaGottlieb: yes it would. Before we send our kids out we have to prepare them. Play alone in the park first.

@StacieAndrews: Not really - we can’t let social media die with us (like it could) but nurture the next generation of social media-ists

@Nedra: I don’t think an 11 y o has the judgment yet to know what’s appropriate to share on Facebook (not that many 20 yr olds do!). My 10-yo has a blog, but it’s anonymous. Facebook is not anon, and therefore more potential problems re: safety/social issues.

@FiurInformation: 11 y o online in FBook would be OK only like any other online experience at that age — with parental supervision.

@jamesdickey: We absolutely do not allow our 12 or 14-year-old to have facebook/myspace pages. Too risky and very little benefit.

@busymom6: Yes, from the Facebook research I’ve done I think it is a completely social group for anyone underage

@JackLeblond: with proper guidence, I would be OK with it. Both mine were online young, with rules

@NoOneYouKnow: Nope - my 9 y.o. has a job/intern at www.creaturepark.com and email. Why not FB? However, he can’t friend me just yet ;).

@johnheaney: my kids can be on Facebook with conditions: only friends can see profile, I have the password, strict rules on posting

@leah_mullen: Yes it would bother me to see my 10 y o on a social networking site with adults.Amazing Kids! has a great pen pal program.

@DeirdreS: my daughter is now 19 and has been online since age ~10, pre-Facebook. online communications skills are essential today

@GriffinClubMerv: I have an 11 and a 12yo. We wouldn’t allow it. We have a zero tolerance policy on Internet privacy for children.

@mlogan: Yes. I recently found my 9 y o daughter had joined a socnet site. I let her stay, but made her take down pix and personal info

@EllasMom: It would bother me to see any 11 y.o. on facebook. They are too young to understand where the boundaries of privacy exist.

@kirstenewatson: My 12 yr old is on facebook but I am one of his facebook friends - its a rule - 6 months or so and counting - so far ok

@busymom6: Yes, in fact I just was alerted to my 13 yr old having a fb page by my sitter, all hell broke loose around here

@robertlendvai: My 11yr old daughter is on FB. She knows that I look at her postings, chats, etc She’s cool with that.

@jennysoucek FB is like the new AIM, parents didn’t like their kids using AIM with all the weirdos up there, FB could expose them to the same 4 minutes ago

@pdeluca It would not bother me. My 11 y o has a cell phone which we monitor, FB is no different. Plus, we have many relatives on FB. 18 minutes ago

@SusyP I’m nowhere close to being married or having kids, and the idea of an 11 y o on fbook terrifies me and makes me nervous to be a parent.

@Note_to_CMO It would bother me. His blog is private. His LinkedIn page is down.

@chelpixie Yes it bothers me to see my 13 year old on Facebook. It depends on the interactions and I wasn’t comfortable with hers.

@jpickett1968 I saw a picture of my 15 year old, kissing her boyfriend. I wasn’t too happy.

@eugenelee Many of my tech laggard parent friends joined Facebook specifically because their kids were and they wanted to monitor.

As you can see, the responses are all over the board – some say lighten up, some say not in a million years, some say a qualified yes – with plenty of supervision.

My take is that this this isn’t an easy issue. There’s  no obvious answer, like there is to “Should I let my kid smoke crack?” But some questions are tougher to answer. Life online, and offline, these days, requires a far more nuanced touch.

So what do you think? How would you feel about letting your underage child on Facebook? Please leave a comment below.

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Ann Handley heads up content at MarketingProfs and also writes her acclaimed personal blog, A n n a r c h y: Subscribe to A n n a r c h y here. It’s really fun to follow her on Twitter.

I was really excited to see this book come up for a review opportunity on TMG. I had just been talking with my fiance about my urge and our family’s need to start being better stewards of our natural resources. Right now, we do pretty much nothing to leave the world in a better environmental state when we leave than when we got here. I have all kinds of excuses for us not being more responsible, but I won’t bore you with them here.

The full title of this book is Eco-Friendly Familes~ Guide your family to greener living with activities that engage and inspire…from toddlers to teens, by Helen Coronato. Final verdict? It’s a really helpful, engaging, interesting book… and it doesn’t make you feel like you are solely responsible for destroying the world.

Four great things about this book:

1. No pressure to become completely green overnight,
2. Not overwhelmed with statistics,
3. A Chapter Checklist at the end of each chapter that goes over what you just read in bullet-point form, and
4. 5-minute makeovers in each chapter.

1. No pressure to become completely green overnight. Coronato is very practical and doesn’t ask for (or want) you to throw out everything you have that isn’t green and start over. She advises slowly integrating green products and practices into your life.

2. Not overwhelemed with statistics. I like statistics as much as the next person, and Coronato uses them well; but, they reinforce her point without cramming stats down your throat, very useful.

3. Chapter Checklist. This checklist is great for both reading before you get into the chapter (especially so you can watch for the parts that really catch your eye), and for making sure you didn’t miss anything when you are done with the chapter.

4. 5-minute makeovers. These are great and practical tips that you can quickly put into place in your home. They include everything from putting a brick in your toilet tank so you use less water to having people take their shoes off at the door so you don’t have as much need for cleaning.

Coronato has done a really good job keeping the topic interesting as well as practical. The book includes recipes (for food and cleaning products), holiday gift ideas, definitions, and great explanations of really complicated concepts for both toddlers and teenagers. My favorite language for toddlers is telling them it’s important to turn off water while you brush your teeth so that there is always enough water for the trees and plants to drink.

If you’re at all interested in simple, common-sense tips for helping your family go green, you should get this book. You can slowly make changes in your lives that will make a difference and teach your children about the responsibility we all have to be good stewards of our resources.

Sherry Carr Deer is a Mommy to Nicholas who just turned 3, fiance to William, the widow of Mark, and a PR professional at a non-profit hospital. You can read more of her posts here.

My wonderful, beautiful, wicked smart son has a great imagination. And he uses it. Often. As a parent, how do *you* differentiate between exaggeration/story telling/imagination and plain ol’ lying?

N is starting to tell stories, and when I try to get to the truth, I try as hard as I can not to lead the witness. For instance, the other day, his Daddy told me that a little boy in N’s daycare had been hitting N in the head. William was really worried because N said he’d told his teacher and she didn’t stop the hitting. As William and I talked about it some more, and tried to figure out what was going on (his class is really small and highly supervised, but hitting is a fact of life at school); it came out that it was “Jacob” who was hitting N. Umm, there isn’t a boy named Jacob in his class…or even in his school. When we told N that there isn’t a boy named Jacob in his class, he looked at us like we were nut jobs and said, “Nobody is hitting me at school.” Apparently, *we* had made the whole thing up.

Sometimes the stories are a little easier to identify. He came home with a pretty good bruise Wednesday. When I asked where it came from, he said he’d been hit by a car. Yep, hit by a car. I got to hear this fantastic story about how he’d been in his classroom when a giant car came flying into the building and smashed into his leg. On Thursday, when his Aunt was babysitting him, N changed the story to one where I had hit him with a car.

Obviously, I can discern the really outrageous ones, but how do you figure out which ones are real and which ones are Memorex? [Does anyone younger than 30 know that tag line?]

I would love to know what you guys do. How do you interrogate your kids without making them suspicious or worried or any of the other 457 emotions you can feel when someone is questioning you?

Sherry Carr Deer is a Mommy to Nicholas who just turned 3, fiance to William, the widow of Mark, and a PR professional at a non-profit hospital. You can read more of her posts here.