I’ve been away for too long, my friends.  My family and I have just had too much chaos in the past few months and I finally had to put the brakes on this out-of-control train, do a little audit of what was and wasn’t working in our little universe, and figure out what to do about it.  Of course, with all that’s gone on over the past few months, that’s taken a considerable amount of time!  In any event, my sincere apologies for staying away for so long.  It’s good to be back.  :)

So, about the title of this post:  An Extreme Life Makeover. Sounds sort of drastic and official, doesn’t it? Well, that’s how it feels, a little bit.

Many things have happened in the past few months that have prompted us to have to get a little drastic and official.  Thankfully the end result is that I - and we - feel like we’re finally finding our feet again, feeling more confident, happy, excited.  And it feels really, really good.

I’ll start off by getting you up to speed on what’s been going on lately…

As you might recall from my last few posts (from August and July, to my utter mortification), my wonderful husband was downsized out of his job back at the end of June.  I’m not going to lie: It was at times enormously stressful to have the primary bread winner NOT, well, “winning bread.” Nonetheless, I think he - and we - have handled it with as much calm and optimism as we possibly could in the circumstances with two children to support, a mortgage payment and all the other usual bills to pay.

There have been several things working in our favor, not the least of which is that my husband is a one-of-a-kind, wonderful, calm “glass is half-full” kind of guy. There’s also the fact that my husband has a fantastic network of personal and professional contacts.  We were stunned by how many people contacted Dan after his job loss, whether just to voice their support or to provide him with contacts or job leads.  If any of those people are reading what I’m writing here, please accept our heartfelt THANKS, because you kept us both hopeful and positive.

I think my husband’s strong work ethic and workhorse personality were also factors in our surviving the past few months.  The man refused to treat any of his time unemployed as “vacation” or “down time,” and he spent every day making phone calls, sending out resumes, finishing antiques “projects” he’d acquired over the years so he could sell them on Craiglist, helping friends complete home improvement projects that they lacked the ability or knowledge (or tools!) to do themselves.  He kept his mind and his body engaged the whole time, and I admire that about him.

So where am I going with this?  Well, let’s just say that Dan’s job search is over.  And we’re pleased as punch!

Don’t get me wrong: I loved having all of that one-on-one time with my husband and am grateful that fate threw us that curve ball when it did.  Dan had been stressed out and anxious leading up to the downsizing; once it was over and the dust had settled, he was back to being himself, the guy I know and love: calm, happy-go-lucky, driven, optimistic.  With his perspective back, it was nice having him around more, and the new routines we developed bouncing around the house together all day every day have been sorely missed now that he’s back to work again.  But Dan was ready and excited to begin his new professional journey, and so far, so good!

There are two other things that came up recently that have also forced us to examine our lives a bit more closely, especially when paired with Dan’s job situation.  

First, I’ve had a pesky health matter that I thought had been resolved in the spring - but apparently had not, as it reared its ugly head again in July and required me to go through some rather uncomfortable medical tests in August.  My OB/GYN was doing those tests to rule out cancer of the cervix or uterus/endometrium, because I’ve been having this problem for a solid year now.  Facing a possible cancer diagnosis at any age is frightening; facing it at 34 with a young child is downright horrifying.  Fortunately, the tests did not show signs of cervical or uterine/endometrial cancer. Unfortunately, my doctor still doesn’t know why I’m having repeat abnormal AGCUS Pap smears.  Until I have an answer to that question, the “C” word won’t completely vacate my conscious or subconscious minds.

I think this whole issue is particularly troubling for me because I’m having so much difficulty conceiving another baby.  It would be one thing if I decided to abandon that dream for other reasons, but I can’t imagine being in a position of having to give up on that dream simply to save my own life.  My doctor doesn’t think the abnormal Pap problem is related to my secondary fertility problems, but since she doesn’t know what is causing the AGCUS Paps, she can’t say for sure.

Fortunately, with Dan’s wonderful new job at a wonderful new company came wonderful new insurance.  So wonderful that it covers the testing for and treatment of infertility.  :)  Which means that this girl will be continuing the process of fertility testing after the first of the year, so we can at least KNOW what we’re dealing with and make an informed decision as to whether or not to pursue treatment.

With the big question of whether we’ll have another baby still unanswered, we at least made the decision to finally get rid of the majority of our son’s baby/toddler stuff.  We (well, I) saved everything religiously all these years, imagining another baby using it before long. But all of it sat, unused, for over five years collecting dust.  Rather than continue to let the bins of clothes and boxes of toys, games, puzzles and baby gear collect dust and take up space “just in case”, we decided to let it go.  If we don’t end up having another baby, then we’ve saved ourselves the trouble of having to go through and get rid of all the stuff later on.  If we do end up having another, then it’s an opportunity to get all the latest and greatest NEW baby stuff (which, knowing me, I’d probably have wanted to do anyway!).

Of course, all of our friends and family have told us that since we’ve purged the majority of Ange’s old stuff, I’ll find out I’m pregnant again anytime now.  And you know what?  I pray that they’re right.  :)

The purging of the baby/toddler stuff wasn’t the end of the road either: We decided that if we were going to go through all of those things, we might as well go through our ENTIRE house and purge the rest of the stuff that hasn’t seen the light of day in years and likely never will.

We started in the basement and worked our way up.  We ended up with so much stuff just from the basement and first floor of our house that we realized we had to split our mother-of-all rummage sales into TWO sales: One for the household decor & furniture items, adult clothing, books, etc. and one for all kid stuff.

Say it with me: Holy crap, that’s a lot of stuff!

It was a lot of work, going through every room and every box, cupboard, cabinet and closet in this house, but it was ENORMOUSLY liberating.  We have a nice-sized old Victorian farmhouse with fairly large rooms for a home built in 1895, but I swear it was starting to feel claustrophobic in here.  Our friends and family have always said that we have really cool stuff.  The problem is that we had WAY too much of it! Anyway, after how many weeks of sorting through everything, our house looks much more open, organized and simple than it has in ages.  And I LOVE it.

The area I love the most now that it’s been emptied of all the unnecessary stuff is my workspace, my home office, if you will.  Before, it was dominated by three large furniture pieces (two of which have been or will soon be sold) crammed into the breakfast nook of our kitchen, and on top of those large furniture pieces were piles of craft & scrapbooking paper, all my various tools/stamps/ink stamps, etc., my “to do” lists and projects and such, and my desk was full of a bunch of stuff that didn’t really matter or make me inspired, and actually just made me feel overwhelmed.

Now, my workspace is made up of three totally different furniture pieces that fit that area much better.  One is a super fun antique black tool bench that I bought back in May at a garage sale for $25 and had been sitting in my husband’s side of the garage since.  The other - my new desk - is an old oak table and bench seat from Packard that had belonged to my husband’s grandmother.  And the third is a lovely antique oak record cabinet that Dan found at a rummage a few years ago that had been a plant stand in our dining room until now.  The three new pieces allowed me to better organize all of my supplies and tools, and I’ve only put things on my desk now that motivate and inspire me.  It’s like a breath of fresh air to go sit at my desk these days.  I like it.

The second thing that happened is that my son started full-day school this fall.  I was - and am - so excited for him to finally be a full-fledged student like “the big kids” he so idolizes in the higher grades.  At the same time, it was really difficult to go from spending all our time together this summer to having him gone all day Monday through Friday.  I had a hard time letting him go - at first.  It made me feel a little obsolete, what with me being a stay-at-home mom and my charge suddenly being gone all day!

And then I realized that this is an opportunity for me to figure out what I want to be “when I grow up.”  An opportunity for me to critically analyze my skills and determine which I find most valuable and useful, to really think about what I’ve most loved doing over my long and winding career, and to seek out contacts in those areas.  And, since I only want to work part-time when I eventually do get back to work, I should be able to maintain enough flexibility to help out in Angelo’s classroom, run errands and maybe even have some time for myself during the day here and there.  But I didn’t jump start this myself - I have my friend and mentor Linda, with whom I used to work, to thank for that.

See, Linda talked to Dan and helped him brainstorm ideas, companies and contacts after he became unemployed.  One day when Linda called to talk to Dan, I ended up on the phone with her for about 20 minutes and out of nowhere she asked what I planned on doing once Angelo was in school full days.  We got to talking and, before I knew it, we were making plans to have coffee so she could brainstorm ideas with me about my next career move.

I met with Linda about a month ago now.  She was just the wind that my dusty, unused sails needed. I can always count on Linda to make me feel like a million bucks - she never, ever lets me down when it comes to that. She sings my praises, points out all my strengths, identifies new avenues I’d never think of left to my own devices, and she has a large and incredible network from which to draw contacts.  I left our meeting armed with new ideas, renewed confidence, and a burning desire to find the path I’m meant to be on at this point.

And there it is: My extreme life makeover. My husband has now gotten started on a better path in his career and has left our little nest a rested and renewed man.  I accepted that I had to cut the emotional ties I had to “things” in my life, even though those things were tied in with the sweetest memories of my baby’s early days.  I’ve learned that I have to accept whatever is meant for me in terms of another baby, and am enormously grateful that Dan’s job change will now allow us to know why we haven’t conceived and hopefully fix the problem.  My life is so incredibly rich already and while another baby would bring tremendous joy to my life, if my body simply cannot do it ever again, I’m so grateful simply to be alive and - I hope - healthy.  And I’m feeling ready to tackle the next step in my professional life, which is simply figuring out what I want to do, and then finding the right place to do it.

It’s funny, how much we struggle sometimes to see the forest for the trees, isn’t it?

Until next time…  :)

Amy Giampetroni is a happily married woman, a full-time stay-at-home mom to a 5-year-old boy and a part-time stepmom to a 12-year-old girl, living in Wisconsin. You can read more about Amy here and at her blog, Average Everyday Super Woman. Click here to check out Amy’s other posts on This Mommy Gig.