It’s likely that my opinion is very different from others who contribute to this blog because we are a diverse group, which is something I like and something I think is representative of mothers the world over. But, there’s a little uproar going on that I just have to add my two cents to - and maybe my fellow moms here will provide a counterpoint.
The who-ha was apparently created by this:
I watch the ad and see a tongue-in-cheek, sassy take on the truth that not only wearing your baby, but also all the other ways we wag out children around wreak havoc on our backs and bodies. You just have to admit that.
Others, however, see it as insulting, a personal attack on what they consider the only proper way to carry a baby and as an insult to motherhood in general. Some fear it will prevent other moms or moms-to-be from experiencing the joy of wearing their babies. You’ve got to read the comments on a post titled “Motrin: The Anti-Mom?” to really get a taste of it.
Oh please. Lighten up! Oh, yeah, you can’t because you’re carrying an extra 15 or so pounds of child with you everywhere. I should probably take that back. I mean, I’ve just been more offensive than that Motrin ad, right? Flame away folks. If a sling or whatever works for you, then fine, but don’t get all righteous about it. It’s that attitude that led total strangers in the check-out line at Target to feel they had the right to inquire whether I would breast feed when they saw I was pregnant.
Bloggers and Twitterers have yelled loud enough that Motrin is now pulling the ad and issuing apologies to those who complain. I suppose they have to - to try to take on an attack of mommy bloggers would be a public relations mess. But, I just had to go on the record as saying I think this is all an over-reaction. Probably due to the fact that my mother didn’t breast feed me or carry me in a sling as a child; and, I’ve doomed my own daughter to be the same maladjusted human because the only time I carried her on my body was in a backpack as I meshed with the masses at the Austin City Limits Festival.
And while I’m here admitting to being a terrible mother because I did not strap my child on me at all times possible, let me go ahead and lay out all my dirty mommy laundry — I work long hours outside of the house, put my girl in day care at two months old, and didn’t breast feed. Egads!
How long do I have before someone calls Child Protective Services on me?
Laura P. Thomas is the wife of a former rocker and mother of one 6-year-old girl that’s already waaay too interested in The Jonas Brothers. (the apple didn’t fall far) She works in the Global Online team at Dell, evangelizes virtual worlds, and twitters too much as LPT.
Laura, you’ve got about 1/2 an hour before social services shows up. You heartless, child-hating woman.
No seriously, I’ve seen that ad a half a dozen times and never thought anything of it. To think that anything who-ha related going on in relation to that (not all that appealing) ad is just silly. Thanks for pointing out the obvious so that we can go back to being outraged by…well…outrageous stuff. Foreclosure rates and Lindsey Lohan suddenly come to mind.
Jess Sanderss last blog post..Stay At Home Dad Takes On Mommy & Me
I think it is possible to enjoy baby wearing without implicitly implying that those who don’t are bad parents. I don’t think that is what the offense was about.
I thought that the ad was condescending and could have chosen better wording, especially the line about it “supposedly” being good for bonding.
I do breastfeed and I do wear my children when I travel. We fly internationally quite often and using a stroller for connecting flights is a logistical bear.
I really don’t see how the decision to breastfeed or not has anything to do with the Motrin ad. Like I said, I am a breastfeeding mom. I work with a woman who did not breast feed. She knows I breastfeed, and literally at least 3 times a week she launches into a diatribe about how she was a “bad mom” because she didn’t breast feed. I have NEVER said anything on the issue. She just chooses to attack me in this passive aggressive way for no reason. I feel that I can’t talk to her casually about anything remotely related to my child’s eating habits, things that I would feel comfortable discussing normally with other moms.
I have never attacked any one about their beliefs. I am very weary of the defensive stance that assumes that if one side is PRO something, they must be ANTI something as well. I am pro-breastfeeding. I am not anti-formula feeding. I am pro-baby wearing. I am not anti-stroller. I have a stroller!
I feel good about the decisions I have made about how to raise my children. I would assume that every parent makes decisions the same way: choosing what they feel is best for THEIR CHILD.
I am so floored that you find these innocent choices to be so offensive.
CanCan (Mom Most Traveled)s last blog post..Eleven Collection’s Fabulous Fall Line, 2008
I love the way moms rallied around a cause. I just think this was a silly cause to rally around. Imagine all this effort put toward something that matters! Check out the linked blog post for my take :).
Annies last blog post..Moms rally around an important cause!
Laura,
You rock! I agree this was blown out of proportion. I feel like we are walking on egg shells in today’s society. That ad was insulting? Seriously? It is about back pain! The reason I never had one of those blasted carriers. Guess that puts us both in the same category. And I put kidlette in daycare at 6 weeks old. I AM the bad mom.
Lauren Vargass last blog post..Has it already been one year? Now really is gone!
LPT - This whole issue seems an extension of a larger issue of “competitive parenting” that’s endemic to parenting these days, it seems. There’s a right way, and a wrong way… and suggesting that parenting is more nuanced than that seems putting your own offspring at risk. I’m putting my tent in the “lighten up” camp.
Ann Handleys last blog post..Punk’d
Jess & Annie - I’m glad you caught the point I got sidetracked trying to make: that this was not really worth all the outrage.
CanCan - I agree with you that my side trip into other mommy debates was just that and I probably should have kept my focus. I’m glad you are not one to attack your coworker for her choices. That means it was probably not you who made her (and myself) so defensive. She might have had a well-meaning mother-in-law such as mine who tried to be subtle when making sure I saw the latest research that showed breast feeding was good for brain development or reduced risks of cancer. Or, maybe it was the billboard on the side of the road that proclaimed to her as she drove to work every day that “Breast Milk is Best Milk.” (yes, I’ve seen them)
While the babywearing movement may not be as organized or well-funded as the breast feeding one was when I had my daughter, it was comments like these (in posts and comments on posts linked above) that pushed my button and led me to tie the two together:
“It’s not theory!!! Studies and avid babywearers PROVE it’s more than a great idea”
“Small, benevolent non-profit organizations such as No Mother Left Behind (and women who make slings and wraps by hand) have worked too long and too hard to help women learn this life skill to have it ridiculed by a bunch of corporate idiots.”
“Thanks to the Twitter moms I know, I heard about this shocking and despicable ad.”
There were more, but touting studies and having organized groups to promote it led me to the breast feeding correlation. And, the adjectives like “despicable” made me think folks were taking this way too seriously - hence my headline.
Thanks for your comments, though, and thank you for not pushing your decisions on your coworker.
Lauren & Anne - thanks for your comments, too! Just saw them come in as I was writing this response.
Laura - you beautifully articulated everything I think about this entire uproar. There are so many other things to rally around. While I hope brands will learn the lesson that the mommies are a powerful force to be reckoned with, I would love to see us find a way to channel that energy towards issues like child abuse and hunger or the need for more adoptive and foster families. If we’re going to be outraged as a group and use social media to channel that outrage, can we think bigger about how to use it to make a real difference?
There are “Breast is Best” campaigns even in the third world country in which I live. These campaigns are not designed with the objective of making moms feel inferior or superior. They are to educate people who think that breast milk is inferior to powdered milk. There are people in the world who choose formula because it is a status symbol. It is a status symbol here in Laos and other third world countries because you have to pay for it to get it. Therefore, if you can afford to buy formula instead of breast feeding, you are seen as high class. The danger is that the water supply here is not safe. So when the powdered milk is mixed with the dirty water, it can be life threatening for the baby. It does not take long for an infant with severe diarrhea to become dehydrated and die.
This information has absolutely nothing to do with pointing a “bad mom” finger. I don’t know of anyone in this world who makes parenting choices solely to make others feel inferior. My goal in raising children is that firstly, they survive into adulthood, and secondly, that I do everything within my power to give them healthy (and when possible, happy) lives. And, I want to do this in the way that is easiest for me!
“Breast is Best” is a slogan because it is easy to remember, even for mothers who are illiterate. There is no “formula is worst” campaign.
Laura - I totally agree with you. I watched the ads and did not get at all offended. But then, I rarely used a carrier. I know that women who do use carriers a lot tend to have very strong opinions about them - not one of them matching with what the ad portrays, which is why I can see it offending those women.
CanCan - thank you for adding a global perspective on the Breast is Best campaign - it makes so much more sense in that context than in my part of the world.
I didn’t have particularly strong feelings about babywearing when it was relevant for me 8 years ago, but many parents do. Very strong feelings. That’s one of the reasons why the Motrin ad was a fail. Far from being sympathetic, it was condescending to the very people it purported to be for. That’s just bad advertising. After all, advertising is supposed to make us want to buy the product, not boycott it.
As for whether it was an over-reaction, everyone has a right to their feelings, to decide what issues are important enough to them to take a stand on. Just because it doesn’t happen to be my, or your, issue doesn’t mean that it isn’t critically, crucially important to others. They have every right to speak their mind, and the company can decide whether it wants to listen.
Susan Getgoods last blog post..Four years, wow!
Wow - I was taken aback at this. To be honest, the ad hit one nerve of mine in a resonant way - I’ve been in two car accidents, both of which damaged my back. I tried the whole carrier thing but it hurt too much. And yes, I took Motrin when it did. And yes, I did end up giving up on doing it because I didn’t want to be on Motrin permanently or cause further damage. And wow - my almost six year old daughter is happy, healthy, affectionate and smart. Go figure… Oh, and I also didn’t breast feed her after eight weeks and put her into a learning/care center at three months. I guess that puts me in the bad mommy category too (-:
The biggest problem with this ad:
If babywearing is hurting you, you are doing it wrong. Taking a painkiller instead of fixing the problem is dangerous and could lead to long-term injury.
First of all, I want to say that I am not attacking Motrin in any sense. I do believe they made a mistake. I don’t think they were aiming to offend baby carrying moms. They just made a mistake. We all do. We shouldn’t judge them by one unintentional mistake.
I also want to point out that it was indeed a mistake. This is National Baby Wearing Week, and it is very possible they were trying to reach out to this group. The whole tone of the ad was off. Using words like “supposedly” and “people say” make it appear that they do not agree with what was “supposed.” At least, I suppose that is what people say.
I believe Motrin should have done a bit of research before going into a new target market. If they really wanted to target moms who wear their babies, they should have made sure what they were saying was true. (Correct baby wearing is not supposed to hurt). I believe Motrin could have done an ad with the same concept but worded a little differently, and the ad would have been a hit!
I think Moms had a right to let their opinions be known. Freedom of speech allows that. They didn’t waste any precious time mentioning it. And honestly, the moms who actually spoke out about this are probably the very ones who will take action in other areas. People who speak out, speak out on most of their opinions. It’s just within their personality. (And for those who think it was a waste of time for moms to speak out against Motrin, aren’t you doing the same by speaking out against them?)
While it is true that Motrin made a mistake and I feel that Moms had a right to speak out against them, I believe it is also time to slack off a bit on bashing Motrin. They got the point and took the ad off their site. They know they offended. I think they need a little bit of a break. And hopefully they will do better with their next ad.
Tabethas last blog post..Happy 56th!!
I wore my kids, and it worked (sometimes it was the only thing that worked), but it also hurt. Yes, some of the phrasing was poor, but overall I thought the ad was pretty funny. Let’s get over ourselves. We are all doing the best we can for our kids. And, no matter what we do they will eventually go in to therapy and it will all be our fault.
Can’t you picture it -
Your child: “I think I’m this way because my mom [never] wore me in a sling”
Her therapist: “Why do you feel that way…”
Oh no, now I’m going to get the therapists all pissed off.
Seriously, I loved your post!
-Liz
Liz Daviss last blog post..OtherInbox 100 Beta Invites
Ok - so I didn’t really like the tone of the ad…in general I just think it was off and these hihgly paid marketing folks didn’t do their research.
Having said that I really couldn’t get myself worked up in a lather over it.
What does get me worked up (and I mean this in the best of ways) is what the outcome shows - beyond the obvious don’t mess with moms).
In my day life I work for a small marketing agency - I guess I should say boutique marketing firm - and we spend a good deal of time struggling through the challenge of how to encite social networks into action.
This example shows that A)social networks are powerful and immediate and B) we better be prepared to take action. Perhaps Motrin could have used this opportunity to learn from the mama market a little sooner in the process (it spread so fast so far without any action that I could see until the dramatic statement on their site saying they were taking down the ad).
In the end, the lesson for us all is you really have to know who you are talking to. Probably a good lesson in life behavior in general.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Although I think it is a bad ad and pretty condescending to it’s target audience, I have to say REALLY? I guess I am just a little tired of the war cries over something so insignificant as a bad advertisement. I think that energy could be much better spent doing something that could actually have a positive effect on peoples lives. Well, if anything significant can come of this, maybe moms will realize that if pulling together they can work to make this a better world for our children. Ann, thank you for bringing up the competitive parenting issue. I haven’t heard that phrase before, but I totally know what you are talking about. It’s exhausting being around moms that cast their judging eye down on you or convince themselves that you have taken “an easy way out” of your parental duties if you do something different than the way they do.
I used a sling, front and back carrier…still do for my 15 month old. I am not offended by the ads, don’t we all have serious things to be upset about….geez…get a grip women.