I don’t think we did…but here he is…sitting at our dinner table, sleeping in our bed.
Because it helps, every now and then, to classify things into the categories that our brains have been socialized to accept, I’ll tell you that in my house, I play the role of the 1950’s style ‘daddy.’ I go to work every morning and then I come home in the evening. I have a briefcase (made of neoprene and striped with green, purple and red - but still, a briefcase). I swear like a truck driver.
My lovely wife plays the role of the stay at home mom. Because she was born with the patience of a saint, the ability to do flips off the rope swing at our pond and the aplomb to do ridiculous things like pretending she’s a Scottish onion while still looking incredibly beautiful.
We’ve also taken on these roles because being at home with her babies is her life’s dream and being a writer is mine.
One of our children, our youngest, is a little dude about to hit the big #3. He’s very creative, obsessed with all things construction, reminds me of a yellow lab puppy - and is deeply in love with his mama - the other one.
He doesn’t want anyone else to hug her, touch her, be carried by her or sit on her lap. This includes me, his sister, the dogs and, sometimes, the rabbit. He also doesn’t want any of us to hug him, touch him, be carried by him or sit on our laps (not all the time, mind you) - he only wants her.
It’s tough - and we try to simultaneously nurture his love for her while reminding him there are other people to love and love him back…and that he has to share. But two year-olds aren’t really good at sharing…especially when what they want is a superbly fantastic Scottish onion. I don’t blame him really (I’m in love with her too)…but I do hope he grows out of it soon.
[Image (that I couldn't possibly resist) courtesy of freeparking]
Julie - I wouldn’t worry too much, as this too will probably pass. Around that age my girl and her best friend showed definite preference for one parent or the other. In my case, I got a total momma’s girl and my friend felt left out of the party as her girl was all about daddy. Four years later, they both seem to have leveled out their parental love - so hang in there.
Thank you, Laura! Stories like that definitely help!
Julie ~ I hope Laura’s right! I’m the one who is the object of more affection and I hate to see the hurt look on my husband’s face when our son constantly chooses me. I keep assuring him that our son will hate us equally at some point in his life!
Laura is totally right — it will pass (everything usually does). I can’t say I’ve dealt with this past infancy myself (when the nursing baby ALWAYS preferred me), but I do have a bit of this (manifested differently, and for different reasons, I think!) with my girl, who has been in an intense Mom phase for a while now!
I always think it’s better to let them work through whatever the issue is… rather than attempt to manipulate it any other way. But still. Ouch. Hang in there.