Articles by Ann Handley

Ann Handley

Book Giveaway: Want One of These Titles?

booksone What does my new iPod stereo have to do with this book giveaway? Because when I moved things around to make room for the new stereo on my office shelves, I found a stack of books that I’ve been meaning to give away to readers since… well, whenever.

Less parenting books than books for parents, the books document the life adventure of raising kids with humor, wit, inspiration, love, heartache, and sometimes schmaltz — all the stuff, I guess, that rolls into parenting itself.

If you’d like to receive one of these, leave a comment below with the title you are interested in. I’ll pick winners randomly. (Please be sure to include a viable email address so I can contact you if you are a winner!)

Because I Said So by Dawn Meehan

Meehan, the author of a blog by the same name, has penned this read inspired by life with her husband and six children. From Amazon: “One of the most popular mommy-bloggers thanks to a humorous eBay listing about her child’s baseball which was circulated rapidly until she became a household name, Dawn Meehan offers readers a hilarious journey along with her six kids on madcap adventures, underscoring the notion that a sense of humor is an essential parenting skill. Because I Said So affirms that parents are not alone in the daily chaos, struggles and joys of child-rearing. With a huge dose of laugh-out-loud, real-life examples, Dawn shares hard-won wisdom gleaned from life with six children.”

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Like Mother, Like Daughter by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hanson, with Amy Newmark

Motivational speakers Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen have published more than 100 collections of these short, inspirational stories and essays since their original “Chicken Soup” title debuted in 1993. From Amazon: “This new collection from Chicken Soup represents the best 101 stories from Chicken Soup’s library on the special bond between mothers and daughters, and the magical, mysterious similarities between them. Mothers and daughters of all ages will laugh, cry, and find inspiration in these stories that remind them how much they appreciate each other.”

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Moms and Sons by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hanson, with Amy Newmark

More soup, this time with Moms and sons. From Amazon: “There is a special bond between mothers and their sons and it never goes away. These heartfelt and loving stories written by mothers, grandmothers, and sons, about each other, span generations and show how the mother-son bond transcends time.”

Interested in any of these three? Give a shout below…!

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‘Have U Seen Me?’

seenme

Me (coming upon this sign Scotch-taped to the back door): “What’s this?”

12-year-old daughter: “I lost my phone somewhere. So I made signs and put them all over the house.”

Me: “Oh. Makes sense…. I guess.”

12-year-old daughter: “I know! The only problem is that people can’t call me if they find my phone, right?”

Being Remarkable

Maybe it’s a stretch to say I like funerals. But I do like it when the family of the newly departed speak publicly at a service, sharing stories or memories, and giving a sense of the person (if you didn’t know them) or — if you did — the depth of the loss.

So often, it feels to me like a chance to reconcile a kind of truth about the people who are part of the story of our lives — a truth that’s hard to acknowledge when someone is still alive and, say, still swigging milk out of the fridge carton or endlessly forgetting to put down the toilet seat. It sums things up, one final time, at the end: This is who they were, this is what they did, this is the way they made a difference. It’s a chance to remember that all the smaller annoyances and petty grievances don’t really matter, and what matters is the history we write together, and the way a life is lived.

In other words, I love it when people own their own rituals — be it birth, death, or one of the many life passages in between. I was reminded of that when I saw this video in which a St. Paul couple put their own spin on the traditional wedding march. I don’t know Jill and Kevin, but I found this at my friend Sonny Gill’s site, and you might have already seen it elsewhere: The video has been making the rounds of the internet lately because it’s pretty terrific.

I love the nonconformity of Jill and Kevin’s approach, and the fun vibe, and the celebration of it all. But what I love most is the way that this couple owns every second of the start of their life together.

There’s a good lesson in here — for life passages, for parents, for our kids, in business, in relationships, and so on: What if, instead of doing things to way they’ve always been done, just because they’ve always been done that way, you spin it in a fresh, new way? What then? What if? Business types call this being “remarkable.” But really, it’s all about trying an uncommon approach that can rise to become something extraordinary.

Oh — and please share any rituals you’ve owned (or seen owned) below. I’d love to hear about them.


Things Parents Say

The other day my 17-year-old came home from the Rhode Island School of Design, where he is spending six weeks this summer immersed in Art. (I didn’t realize quite how much I missed him until suddenly there he was, grinning at me in the kitchen, and as I wrapped my arms around him I thought of that line in the poem by Walter Dean Myers, “Love that boy, like a rabbit loves to run.”)

When I tell people that he’s loving the long hours he’s spending in the school’s clay studio, how he goes back after dinner, and how he wants to major in Ceramics in college, people often nod about how wonderful that is before they ask something along the lines of, “So how’s he going to make a living at that?”

I can’t blame them, really. It’s crossed my mind a few times, as well, even though I’m not truly worried. And about 25 years ago, it crossed the minds of my own parents, too, which is why my mother said to me, when I announced then that I wanted to be writer, that I might want to have a backup plan.

She wasn’t trying to be cruel; in fact, she just wanted me to have what she lacked: independence, and self-reliance, and the ability, when the guy you marry turns out to be a shit in a lot of ways, to not have to take it. It’s true that money can’t buy happiness. Yet ironically, I’ve noticed — and my mother certainly knew — that the lack of it can bring plenty of misery.

A few weeks ago my friend Paul Williams created something he called the Killer Phrase BINGO. We’re all familiar with the game BINGO: Fill out the game card, trying for five in a row to win and shout, “BINGO!” “One key reason new and potentially innovative ideas don’t get implemented at companies is because skeptics and scaredy cats kill ideas when they’re first proposed,” Paul wrote. “They use killer phrases like: ‘We’ve tried that before’ and ‘Yeah, but….’”

And so it goes in parenting, too. How many of the phrases do we use, as parents, because our own parents said them to us (here’s where I’ll admit to “Don’t make me turn this car around!”) or because we can’t bear to see our kids in pain (”Don’t make the same mistakes I did…”)? How much of our own parents do we bring to our own roles in the job, all over again?

Once, when my mother and I were having an uncharacteristically frank discussion about sex, she said to me, “Your generation didn’t invent sex, you know.” But didn’t we? Isn’t it up to every teenager to figure it out mostly on his or her own?

In that way, too, every generation thinks it invents parenting. Or, maybe, it’s every person who is reinvented as a parent: Sometimes, we are inspired by our own upbringing, and sometimes we exorcise it. And sometimes, as is the case with me, it’s a little of both.

In any case, Paul created this BINGO card for parents strictly for fun. But then again, you could use it for awareness, too—a reminder, of sorts, that we didn’t invent parenting, but we certainly can guide its evolution.

Are You a Hard-Ass Like Me?

Ann Handley, Sgt. Strict

What’s your parenting style?

T-Mobile says I’m a hard-ass. Well, actually they called me “Sgt. Strict.” But same diff. In either case, it surprised me, because while I’m not exactly a pushover, I’m sure not a drill sergeant, either.

For example: Your teenage son is dating a girl he met on summer vacation, who lives four hours away. You…

…think, “A girlfriend he never actually has to go out with? Perfect!”

…quickly up his cell phone minutes.

…have him figure out how much it will cost him in gas to visit her twice a month.

…keep him busy with extracurricular activities. He can see her over winter break.

Or:

…tell him if they pick a movie theater halfway between their two houses, you’ll drive him there.

What would you do? Discover your parenting style in this fun (and yes, a little silly!) quiz from T-Mobile:

Take the Mom to Mom Quiz here.

Awkward Family Photos

There is something universal about the awkwardness of family.

About a week ago, two childhood friends launched a site to document as much. The results — in the vein of LOLCats and Stuff White People Like — are hilarious:

The Choker: “This is what happens when your male role model is both a priest and a gym teacher.”

choker

My Two Dads: “You may use your calculator for this equation.”
(Favorite comment: “I am very confused by this. Is the guy in the front right like a neighborhood computer guy who helps them out sometimes?”)

dads

Family Tree: “Even the tree felt this one was awkward.”

tree

Check out the full, awkward archive here. Be a word of caution: Some of these will give you nightmares. Or at least the.. uh… willies.

Cross-posted on Annarchy.

Mother’s Day, Post Mortem

I can’t stop laughing every time I view this video (and I’ve been watching it over and over again….).

It’s funny on its own, but it’s especially funny to those of us whose kids bicker like these two. Even (like mine) occasionally! (And by “occasionally” I mean “yesterday.”) Enjoy:

Create Your Own ‘Mother of the Year’ Video

mom-of-the-year-video_imageCheck out this fun (and funny!) promotion by MomsRising.org to celebrate someone you consider “Mother of the Year.”

The video allows you to customize with a few quick keystrokes a news report by CNNBC for the person you consider Top Mom. Type in a name and email address, and the program will do the rest. Be sure to send yours before Mothers Day this Sunday.

Included in the video clip are hysterical “man on the street” reactions to the announcement, as well as cameos by Obama as well as Octomom and Branjelina (both depicted wondering how you—or your chosen Mom—beat them out for the title).

Here is the link for the Mother of the Year Award video that you can customize and forward.