Articles by Rachael Cahours Acklin

Rachael Cahours Acklin

Advantages of Being a Second Generation Homeschooler

This is the first in a series of posts I am planning: about homeschooling, obviously.

I was homeschooled from second grade to graduation.

I grew up in a homeschooling family: my sister, brother and I were all taught at home. Being the oldest, I was the first, and I started learning at my old wood-and-metal school desk (which was set up in my parents’ bedroom), at the beginning of second grade. It’s almost funny to think that my school career started back in that tiny house, at that rusty little desk. I still remember how proud of myself I was when I learned how to spell complicated words like ‘answer’. (Okay, I’m still proud of myself for that one, heh.)

We learned from a curriculum that my Mom ordered every summer, and unpacked – amidst great excitement – from its huge cardboard box every September. We all sat on our hands, trying not to reach out and grab all the shiny new books, as she sorted all of the upcoming year’s education into three stacks. After that, she made up our new school schedules, while we carefully paged through our new textbooks, caressing their smoothness with our eager little hands, smelling the uncracked binding.

Our schedules weren’t fancy or printed from an Excel spreadsheet. They were hand-written on notebook paper (I think sometimes she used graph paper), and each different subject was color-coordinated with different shades of colored pencil. Each school day had its own column of boxes to be crossed out as each subject was done. One of my most favorite memories from my childhood is of standing in front of the refrigerator where our schedules hung up, and looking at all those lovely bold red X marks that meant I was DONE for the day.

Now, not very many years later, I am homeschooling my own three eldest children, and I am extremely grateful for the advantages that come from being a second generation homeschooler.

We live and die by the schedule.

I understand, having lived by a schedule for the entirety of my homeschool experience, how very important it is to have everything planned out. (Those of you with a background in academics are all having a DUH! moment, I know!)

Now, this does not mean that unless you begin at 9 o’clock every morning, break for lunch at 12 o’clock in the afternoon, and resume immediately at 1 o’clock, you will surely fail. It also does not mean that you must use all five traditional school days each week, or that you must take summers off each year.

This is what it means: If you have a plan for when you are beginning each subject, and a plan for when you are finishing each subject, then you have a much better chance of actually reaching the goals you have in teaching those subjects in the first place.

I make my plans ahead of time.

I learned, from the way my Mom always made our schedules before we even got to the first day of school, not just to plan everything out, but to plan everything out AHEAD OF TIME.

Of course, in order to plan your school year out ahead of time, you need your materials in hand before your school year starts. To have your materials before your school year starts, you’ve got to order them well before you want them – which means that you need to have your school supplies budget in place even before THAT.

Let’s say you’re going the traditional route, and you plan to begin school in the early days of September. That means you need to order your books by the beginning of August. How long will it take you to budget for school supplies? A month? Three months? A year? While I’m a big fan of the spur-of-the-moment school of OOH AWESOME LET’S DO THIS RIGHT NOW, that kind of spontaneity is the best way to give yourself a massive headache about your homeschooling plans.

Workbooks are a homeschooler’s best friend.

I personally love coming up with topics and questions and curriculum all on my own, but that can be very mentally exhausting, not to mention a big let-down for yourself if you didn’t manage to do it just as perfectly as you had planned. My Mom is one of the most intelligent people I know, but she ordered curriculum that came with its own worksheets and tests, and that made homeschooling three of us at once that much simpler for her.

Sure, you can do it all yourself. Some of the best curriculum ideas come from your own imagination, because you’re the one there with your kids, you see what they need or what they’re interested in, and you are creative enough to find a great solution. However, nearly all of the good curriculum I’ve used as a student or taught as a parent has been created by academics from within the worldwide homeschooling community.

In short, don’t reinvent the wheel unless it’s really necessary. Take advantage of what others have already done, and use the extra time you have to have a more relaxed homeschooling experience.

Nobody is perfect.

Okay, another DUH moment, but please - remember that nobody is perfect. My parents didn’t decide to homeschool us because they were perfect, and I didn’t decide to homeschool my own kids because I think I’m perfect. It is as much a learning process for the teacher as it is for the student (or students), so cut yourself some slack, and take advantage of my experience.

So, ask me your questions! I’d love for this series to be full of helpfulness, so please tell me what you want to know!

Apparently I Am A Grownup

Until I get back into the swing of things, I’ll be occasionally reposting from my own blog, Antithete. I wrote this one earlier today. :)

It has been challenging, learning to mother four children, and take care of six peoples’ worth of laundry, dishes, and general dirt. Not to mention they all like to have mommy time, and I like to have one-on-one time with them. Once again, the schedule is my friend. I know plenty of you hate schedules and feel completely weirded out that I am SCHEDULING things in order to feel on top of them, but for me, WOW, it works. It works awesome!

With my schedule laid out, whether or not it ends up being followed during the day, at least I feel like I know what’s coming. And I can make sure each kid’s laundry gets done, that they each get baths or showers on a regular basis, that they get their schoolwork done, that they eat, and all go to bed at basically the same time every night. Now that the weather is nicer, we have a lot more outdoor recesses, which is all kinds of awesome too, almost as awesome as my schedule. Heh.

DSCF1288-1 I think the funniest thing that happened in my brain after the baby was a week or so old was that I suddenly realized OMG I HAVE A SIX-PERSON HOUSEHOLD TO MANAGE. AIEEE! I could hear all of you giggling uncontrollably over my sudden DUH moment, I really could. Because HELLO, obviously there were going to be four kids now, right? Six people altogether, right? I spent so much time worrying about having enough room in the car, and focusing on getting the van we have now (w00t w00t eight seats baby!), that I kind of forgot to spend time figuring out ahead of time how to make sure things got done around the house in a timely manner.  (Read: in a manner that does not make me pull out my hair and cry into my coffee cups.)

I never dreamed that by the time I was thirty years old, I would have four children. I also never dreamed of the kind of dedication and hard work it is to have four children – not so much the providing for them, because that’s a hard work all unto itself – but the day-to-day caretaking of them. The clean sheets, tasty nutritious meals, and playtimes. Teaching manners and how to not bonk each other with toys when playing. Teaching how to communicate with each other. Teaching math concepts, proper grammar, and how to put away your dishes.

I guess what I’m saying is that I have arrived at a point in my life that I’m a little at a loss to know what to do with. Apparently I am a mature adult with four well-behaved, intelligent children, and goshdarnit if I have NO idea really how I got here. How am I supposed to comport myself? Does this mean I have to stop shopping in the juniors section of Walmarts? Am I allowed to keep dying my hair raspberry pink when I feel the need to?

Which, by the way, I am going to do again soon. I even bought the hair lightening powders a few days ago – I have the hair dye stocked up in my linen closet when I bought it on sale last year.

P.S. Can you tell I am feeling much much better?

P.P.S. Troy is working a third shift at the factory now. They re-hired him (he had quit to try his leather business full time, but it wasn’t bringing in enough income yet so he asked for his old job back and BANG PRESTO, the NEXT DAY he got it back. I’ve never known anyone with that kind of crazy luck). This means I get the bed all to myself at night, heh heh heh. And also it means NOT a new schedule for us really, except for him needing to sleep during part of the day.

P.P.S.S. Now I don’t know how to end this post. I think I will just stop typing. The End.

Now We Are Six!

Hi, everyone! *waves*

I haven’t been here much since last year. In fact, I haven’t been here since I was pregnant.

It’s so tricky to say hello again after being gone so long that, well, I just kind of stayed away. But I missed it here, so I’d like to announce that I am back! Also, I would like to introduce you to my family, because now there are SIX of us:

family-portrait

I am not ashamed to say that I gave myself a little bit of a pick-me-up when I processed this photo. I might be tired all the time and have taken far fewer showers than I would like, but dadgummit, I am going to look NICE in our very first family photo together! (I gave myself a little eyeliner and lipstick, and I did not touch my skin blemishes at all – aren’t you proud of my self control?)

So, now we are six. Four kids. Four lovely little people who I would die for, each and every one of them. Four little people who are really quite well behaved, even though the two boys fall all over themselves – literally – trying to be quiet when the baby is sleeping. One oldest daughter whose place in the family is at once clear-cut and mysterious for her. One oldest boy who barely understands how fiercely the youngest boy idolizes him. One toddler who wants to be the only one Mommy pays attention to, but also the only one oldest sister pays attention to; and the only one brother pays attention to; the only one Daddy pays attention to; and the bulldog who protects the baby from the voices and advances of strangers. One tiny youngest girl with a serious face and a large appetite, and a deep and abiding need to be held constantly.

Add to that one fantastic husband who is also dead tired, and I am surprised that we get anything done at all, including get out of bed in the morning. The only reason everyone in this photo is relatively well-groomed is that the three oldest are capable of dressing themselves, and the two oldest can take their own showers and (usually) brush their own hair. And the baby gets a change of clothes more often than I do, so she always looks like a sweet little flower.

My six-week post-partum checkup is tomorrow. I can’t believe my infant is a month and a half old already. Where did the time go?!

See you around, unless the next six weeks go by in a flash also. :)

Review and Contest: Dionis’ Guess How Much I Love You Skincare

I had the privilege of reviewing three products from the Dionis Guess How Much I Love You line for my youngest, who has fairly sensitive skin. I usually use only unscented, naturally-based products on his skin in the bath (and afterwards), so I was eager to try something new. We received the Baby Wash, Baby Lotion, and Baby Powder to try out.

As soon as I received the products in the mail, I opened them to see how they smelled (because I’m weird like that!). They were very powdery, and I was worried that while they might soften up my son’s skin, I might not appreciate the scent once we used them. I have a very overactive pregnant sniffer, so things that don’t smell right definitely don’t get used again.

However, once my son and I ran a warm bath and I swirled the Baby Wash into the running water, the scent blended in nicely and was a pleasant, mild smell. The bubbles were gentle and, unlike a lot of sensitive skin bath products, did not disappear right away. The Baby Wash also soaped up well on a washcloth, and my son’s skin felt and smelled clean after using it. It also rinsed away clearly and left no residue behind.

The Baby Lotion was light and was the most powdery smelling of all the products. It was lightweight and easy to massage into an active toddler’s arms and legs, and it actually changed from the heavy powdery scent to something much milder and very pleasant. The scent seemed to combine with my son’s natural skin smell, and quite frankly, he smelled absolutely yummy!

I applied the Baby Powder when I diapered him, and it kept him dry and rash-free. Overall, we were very happy with the Dionis products we received, and I will continue to use them until they’re gone. And maybe purchase more!

Win Some!

We have 2 sets of Guess How Much I Love You products for our readers - yay! All you need to do to enter is leave a comment here telling which of the products you think would be your favorite. Super simple, right?

We’ll pick 2 winners on August 18 and notify the winners by email.

Read more about Rachael on our Contributors page!

Disclosure: Rachael received a free set of products for review purposes.

My Ex + Child Support = FAIL.

Rachael is a married mother of three, expecting her fourth, working her web design job when the time is available.  She also blogs at her website, antithete, and can be found Twittering and Plurking.

I wanted my return to This Mommy Gig blogging to be something fun or hilarious, but unfortunately, today I am mostly just REALLY pissed off.  Upset, angry, frustrated, whatever you’d like to call it - that’s me today.

My husband recently started a new job, which has been a fantastic thing for us.  It’s made me much busier, but I’m willing to sacrifice that extra time for him being able to bring in enough money to support us, and as a whole, things have been going really well.  Except for today.

His job started two weeks ago, and while he gets paid weekly (and has had a first check already!), he is still waiting for his first FULL paycheck, which will go a long way.  Our rent is due on the first of every month, but we get a grace period of about six days past that to get our payments in before any late fees or (oh the horror) eviction notices are passed around.  Normally, it has been a big struggle to get this payment in on time because of the shaky state of our finances for the past year - but we ALWAYS paid it.

This month, we supposed it would be a little easier, mostly because of the new job.  We had most of the rent money in the bank by the second day of the month (his first check, which we haven’t touched), and all we had to do was wait for the child support I am paid for my oldest two kids to make up the rest of it, and voila, we’d be making a payment earlier than usual!  We were really excited about this (okay, it was just me), but as the days went by and the payment didn’t show up, I started to get that uneasy feeling I get when I just KNOW it’s going to be ridiculously late again.  That feeling is normally followed by anger and then extreme frustration, because this has happened so many times I don’t know if I could count them.

Today was our last day to pay “on time”, and we now have a late fee and a disgruntled landlord, and STILL no support payment.  I just wrote a very upset email to my ex, asking him why it was so difficult to make a payment on the same day every month, and telling him that until he shows me a consistent ability to make these payments on time, he cannot have any contact with the kids.

I know a lot of women read this blog, and plenty of men (and some of you are dads), and I ask you: WHY would someone consistenly do this?  Have I made it too easy on him?

I don’t want to be dependent on this support to pay rent - I NEVER have wanted to depend on it.  It’s too easy for someone to let you down, even accidentally, and I know it’s not financially smart to have to rely on a person who cared so little for us six years ago that he walked out without looking back.  By next month, we will have enough regular paychecks in our budget that we will be able to pay our bills without NEEDING the support payment, but we’ll still need it to get by.

Maybe I’m just an upset ex-wife, but I hate that this ridiculous behavior keeps continuing.  I hate having to nag just so I can pay our bills, and I hate that he tries to make me feel bad for his own financial situation every time I bring it up.  It feels like a losing battle, and I don’t actually think it can be won.

Pregnant Update: Seven Weeks (and change)

I was planning on publishing this post on Thursday, because my number-of-weeks-pregnant flips over one higher each Thursday, but life got a bit in my way.  As in, being pregnant makes me tired and lazy , and then there were large storms and tornado watches and warnings, and we ended up staying with my grandparents for a while because THEY have a basement and WE don’t

But… they have NO INTERNET.  So I couldn’t blog, couldn’t Twitter, couldn’t Plurk, couldn’t even email or IM or read other peoples’ blogs.  I had to REST and VISIT WITH PEOPLE and GO FOR WALKS.  It was nice!

The format I’m planning for these weekly pregnancy updates is something along these lines: I’ll be yammering about what I wanted to eat that didn’t agree with me, how much weight I maybe gained, why I don’t want to take any photos of myself yet, and how I’m avoiding telling any family yet that I’m pregnant.  Obviously the content will change weekly (hopefully), but I’m going to work at bringing the funny.  Because what the blogosphere needs is MORE FUNNY PREGNANT WOMEN.  Yes?  Are you with me?  Good!

What I ate last week (and some of the week before) that turned out to be a bad idea:

  • Two double cheeseburgers from McDonald’s House of Greasy Food & Fry Emporium. (Because two days earlier, the quarter pounder had really hit the spot.)
  • Two and a half grilled brats, with no bread or anything else, dipped in mustard + ketchup (I normally love these, but obviously MORE THAN ONE was a Very Bad Idea, as the heartburn and feeling of pukiness was rampant for, oh, all that night and part of the next day)
  • Many many french fries (Ugh)
  • Pasta salad I made with far too many taco-like seasonings. REGRET!

What I ate last week-ish that was GLORIOUS:

  • Quarter pounder with cheese and a small fry, even if it only lasted for about 45 minutes of tummy peace.
  • Frozen pizza
  • My Mamow’s roast beef, mashed potatoes, corn, and green salad
  • White cake with strawberry whipped cream (I was surprised too)
  • Frozen pizza
  • Deli meat sandwiches with cheddar cheese, tomatoes, cucumber, and mayo - hold the mustard
  • Salty tortilla chips with salsa + sour cream
  • Pancakes
  • Frozen pizza

How many times I have had a ’sick day’ that keeps me from working or doing anything else productive:

Approximately 5,267 times.  (I might be slightly exaggerating.)

Number of times I have got up to pee at 3:47am, 5:02am, 7:14am, etc, etc:

Approximately 5,267 times.  (Not quite as exaggerated as one might think.)

Other stuff:

I am still trying to look like I am not pregnant.  I don’t know why, unless it’s because it seems like there is something morally wrong about LOOKING pregnant when you are not technically supposed to be showing yet.

Actually, I hate all those pregnancy guides that tell you to eat only 300 extra calories a day, snack on saltine crackers, and that you likely won’t need maternity clothes until you’re about three or four months along.  WHAT?!  Obviously they are only thinking of most first-time pregnant women, because it DID take me a long time to show with my first.  However, now that I have had three babies, my abdomen already knows what it’s supposed to do when the hormones hit, so it pooches out obediently, making my pants selection incredibly difficult and resulting in me trying on and re-trying on all my shirts to see just how fat/pregnant they really make me look.

(I think my husband is tired of me playing this silly game with myself.)

Also, we have not yet told any family other than the kids, and of course YOU, my darling internets.  I find that it is difficult to tell my relatives that I am expecting, because inevitably someone gives me the weird eye, which I always assume translates to “Oh really, and don’t you already have enough of those, what are you a rabbit?! And will you expect us to GIVE YOU STUFF again?!”  Which is really not what I want to hear from people at all.  So I am chickening out until I can’t hide it any more, I think.  This is possibly not a good plan.

What do you think?

Now With Added Hormones!

If you happened to catch the post I wrote earlier this morning (what, you didn’t already read it? You mean not EVERYONE has the internet on a constant-drip IV like I do?), you know by now that I’m pregnant (with NUMBER FOUR)!

Yep. W00T, and hooray, and also lots of napping so far.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy about this new little one - I sit and reminisce about my other pregnancies (or lie down and reminisce, which is far more often), and smile and occasionally tear up at the warm fuzzy memories, and then demand ask for several pieces of toast because I JUST NOW AM STARVING, OMG - but I just don’t have much energy to do anything right now other than try not to sleep all day, and try not to throw up when I’m awake.

And honestly, I don’t think I ever WILL throw up. That’s not how I do pregnant. I just get queasy, all the time, everywhere. Like motion sickness and vertigo and that feeling you get when you can tell that your body is about to launch into full-on influenza mode and within six hours or so you’ll be hugging the toilet and begging for mercy, all rolled into one too-warm, uncomfortable, hungry pregnant package; except that I never have the satisfaction of throwing up.

Those of you poor women who DID, in fact, throw up at every turn during your pregnancy, I don’t envy you, I just keep thinking I might feel better if the nausea ever got me anywhere. I suppose I should shut up now so karma doesn’t play a trick on me.

I was deeply sick for about a week up until today, so you’ll pardon me while I get my brain re-sorted. And then I can start writing up weekly so-now-I’m-this-many-weeks-pregnant posts here, and we can all commiserate and sniffle together. It’ll be like a weekly group hug. MWAH!

Dear Joey (A Letter to My Son, Just Because)

Dear Joey,

I posted about your sister recently - it was mostly to show off her new glasses and lovely smile, but it was also because I’ve learned some things about her lately, and I wanted to put them in writing. I have learned a lot about you too this past year, and you deserve for me to write those things down as well, so here I go.

When I mulled over what to write in this post about you, it seemed natural to write it TO you instead of just ABOUT you. Because you’re personal like that - everything that happens around you touches you in some way, even if you weren’t really involved.

That’s one of the biggest things I have learned about you, and one of the biggest reasons you tend to get into trouble. You’re easily offended, and easily hurt, because jokes aren’t just jokes, and feelings are fragile right now. I’m sure it’s partly your age, but here is where we are the same, my boy: I still to this day have to remind myself that it’s not about me. I still have days where something is said, whether in passing or more directly, and I struggle not to cry or be angry. Our deep care for everything that happens is also our weakness. I hope that I can give you an example of how to grow a thicker skin without hiding your heart away, because that softness is a good thing when it’s done right.

You’ll still hurt more than some other people, though, and I’m sorry for that - but if you don’t learn these things like I had to learn them, you won’t be as strong as I know you can be. I always say to you that pain is the best teacher, and I always mean it. One day, you might repeat that to someone else, and then you will truly know deep down that it is so.

You are the child that makes me work harder than I ever have to make sure I am the best mother I can possibly be. You are the one that I cry about, the one I tear out my hair over, and the one that I always fear I might screw up. I don’t know why I’m so afraid that you’re fragile, because you are obviously so resilient. Your kindness and sincerity touch my heart, and your uncanny ability to hear what I’m thinking still catches me off guard.

You are the child who brings me a handful of tissue, even though I was crying as quietly as I could, and was several rooms away. You always give hugs, even when they’re awkward because nobody was expecting them. You always try new things, and you compliment every meal I’ve ever made.

You hate being alone but sometimes you need to be. You have trouble calming down when you’re angry, because you don’t want to have to release all that energy and emotion and feeling - but little by little, you’re learning how to just BE, to find the peace that’s inside you. Again, I know I don’t always give you the best example of how to be calm, but I’ll be working on that for the rest of my life too.

You are my son, my first boy, and I want so much for you to grow into a good man. But I think that the best thing I’ve learned from you lately is that before you can be any kind of grownup, you have to be a kid first. You’re teaching me that running around screeching is normal for a boy, and that green stains on pants and cuts on hands are part of the package. I’m learning to let go more and be silly more, and I have you to thank for it. Just like I had you to thank for all the face-smacks when you were eighteen months old and sitting on my lap, head-butting me because you wanted to scoot closer.

The closer I get to you, the more I see how deep your soul is. I’m honored to be your mom.