I am blessed to have someone very special in my life point out some very simple wisdom today. But first, let me begin by apologizing for lack of writing. I was getting some monkeys off my back. The first: Divorce was final last Friday, 11 July.

Now what am I going to do?" she wailed. "How can I get to where I want to go-when I can’t go to where I want to get-to get what I want!" - Zoom Broom by Margie Palatini

It’s time for this witch to get a new broom! …more like a fresh context of thinking.

I have been a bit on edge lately. I am a worrier and the pressure has been mounting for some time. Yet all this frustration and anguish personally and professionally melted after my special someone sent me this video to remember.

(I have had this post drafted since late last year…this seemed like the perfect forum to post.)

Tattoos are works of art expressing your passion…it just so happens the canvas is your body.

“Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you can’t wear your heart on your sleeve (or back or thigh), say these hip moms.” -I Love My Tattoos, Parents December 2007

This article was quite refreshing from the norm conservative house-mom stories the magazine publishes. Tattoos are not symbols of a bad person. I remember when my mom thought everyone with a pager or cell was a drug dealer. As if.

“It never occurred to me and my husband that anyone would consider owning a tattoo business inappropriate for parents. Tattoos are just part of our generation.” -Sarah Stout, Parents December 2007

My first tattoo is of a half sun/half moon with stars. The design was flash, but represented my dual self/ego. The symbol reminds me of the day and night personality masks I wear daily. Who am I?

I answered this question with my second tattoo: an ouroboros dragon. My 27th birthday gift to self was a tattoo from Cat Tattoo of an ouroboros dragon. (Thank you, Memphis.) The tattoo is a custom work of art placed on mid-lower back. I am not a big girl, so the tattoo is a bit bigger than I originally intended, but discreetly hidden. The dragon with tail in its mouth symbolizes infinity and the eating of ones self/ego — the archetypal significance to the psyche was a key study of my master thesis/Communicators Anonymous.

I could only sit through 2 1/2 hours of ink work on my back this round, so I will need to go back to Memphis for detail work when healed. My next tattoo design (there will surely be another) is unknown, but will be an expression of a snapshot in time. Normal? Maybe.

A shout out to two of my favorite moms who have collaborated to make life easier for military service members and their families. As a former military dependent and currently serving the military in my communications role (real day time job), I know the struggles military families face daily. As working moms we are saddened about the moments we miss while we are away and working. Imagine being away for up to eighteen months without seeing your family.

Babble Soft and eMail our Military are partnering to offer free subscriptions to Baby Insights and Baby Say Cheese for active duty service members with newborns.

“Our goal at Babble Soft is to help strengthen and enhance connections between family members during that wonderful, yet chaotic time after a baby is born.” said Aruni Gunasegaram, founder and president of Babble Soft. “We support our troops and know how important it is for new parents who have to be away from their newborns to feel connected to what is going on at home. Partners can share experiences and photos with each other through Babble Soft’s unique web and mobile applications. As an added bonus, members of eMail our Military will have access to a discount code to purchase gift subscriptions for their other family members who may or may not have military ties.”

Baby Insights helps caregivers keep track of baby’s breast & bottle feeding, sleep periods, diaper changes, medicine doses, immunization records, as well as mom’s breastfeeding, pumping and medicine intake. Having important information stored in one location makes communication between parents, their nanny, babysitters, grandparents, or doctors seamless and reliable and gives new parents insight into their baby’s patterns to help with crucial baby
care decisions.

Baby Say Cheese lets you create a wonderful online baby’s first year photo album with milestones such as ‘first crawl, first smile, first word’ and family tree that you can share with friends and family. You can even send a fun, cute picture postcards of any of your baby’s milestones to anyone with an email address!

Spread the word about this awesome partnership to military families!

“Feeling our feelings, instead of denying or minimizing them, is how we heal from our past and move forward into a better future. Feeling our feelings is how we let go. It may hurt for a moment, but peace and acceptance are on the other side. So is a new beginning.” -Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go

What do you say to your four year-old when Daddy stops coming home, reeks of alcohol and doesn’t remember chunks of time? What do you say when she sees her beloved father sleeping, slurring words and yelling at mommy for no other reason than alcohol being involved?

The decision to divorce my husband and father of my only child was not easy or made impulsively. In less than a month my divorce will be final and my husband will be moving out of the house. Never before has my husband harmed our daughter, but the emotional roller coaster of the past year is scarring her childhood. I can see it in my daughter’s actions and worst of all I can see her emulating my emotions and actions. I have tried so hard to keep my emotions bottled up and separated from daughter, but children are far too intuitive.

Just after my daughter was born, I was introduced to Al-Anon and attended my first meeting…on Mother’s Day. I was bitter and angry about being in a relationship with a raging alcoholic and feeling stuck now that we had a child together. I couldn’t accept alcoholism as a disease, but a mere excuse. My expectations have always been too great for anyone to live up to, but I thought I could change this man. I discovered I could not change my husband, but I had the power to control and change myself. This was one of the most empowering and defining moments of my life.

I began to live life through loving detachment. (I will explain this process in depth at another time.) My husband began to see the changes in me and it encouraged him to seek out AA. Two years later, my husband (then my partner) proposed to me. We were happy and both in recovery. I forgot what it was like in the dark years when my husband drank and began to take the sober time for granted. Four months before we were married, my husband began to drink again…after almost three years sobriety. No catastrophic moment brought about the change.

Once again, I was in denial. Everything inside of me screamed not to go through with the marriage, but I thought the drinking was just a random episode. Stupid me thought I could control and change his ways. The drinking became as bad if not worse than it was when he had quit. This was not the first time my husband’s sobriety had lapsed, but it had been the longest time he had remained sober. I thought our marriage and child would make everything better. How could I have forgotten the Al-Anon teachings so soon? Where did the once empowered Lauren disappear?

I began to withdraw from family and friends just as I had six years ago. Old habits resurfaced. I could not let go. Rage burned within me and resentment hardened my heart. Six years ago I could deal with the emotional roller coaster because I was alone, but now I have a daughter and she should not be subject to this lifestyle. Walking on eggshells because you don’t know the mood of the alcoholic or when they might appear is no life for anyone at any age. Once again, I summoned up my courage and sought out Al-Anon and third-party assistance.

So, what do I tell my daughter? This part is new to me. No one wants to talk about what happens behind closed doors, especially when there is an alcoholic in the family. When no one knows about what is happening it is difficult to ask for guidance and support in trying times such as this. Today I am telling my daughter that her Daddy is sick, we need to pray for him and slowly begin to educate her about alcoholism as a disease that has claimed a loved one. It is my intention to always be honest with my daughter and try to speak from a loving position about her father. No matter what my husband has done to me, I know that my daughter will always foster respect and love for him and it is not mine to take away. How would I want my husband to handle the situation with our daughter if the situation was reversed?

I encourage you to attend at least nine consecutive Al-Anon meetings if you have a loved one or friend who is an alcoholic. You are not alone.

Your treasure - your perfection - is within you already. But to claim it, you must leave the commotion of the mind and abandon the desires of the Ego and enter into the silence of the heart.” -Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love