One of the viral pieces of news in the past couple of weeks was the tongue-in-cheek site Please Rob Me, underscoring the potential consequences of broadcasting your location (such as, not being at home!) too broadly on social media. You know, inviting bad guys to break in while you’re Four-Squaring at the mall…

Well, right now I’m more concerned about a different kind of digital invasion. Namely, as parents – how do we encourage the responsible use of digital media by our kids while preventing “screen addiction?”

We still have 3 boys at home – 2 teens and an 8-year old. We have TiVo (so glad to no longer be subject to broadcast schedules and commercials!) and Netflix on-demand; a family iMac with all the usual web destinations a click away; a Wii; and each kid has an age-appropriate handheld device.

We’re really not big TV watchers, and my kids aren’t sedentary couch potatoes, but let’s face it – all this stuff can be an endless parade of sight and sound that is an easy default (instead of, say, walking the dog, exercising, reading books – all that boring analog stuff!).

Even Dad has to be reminded at times to put away his iPhone (ahem!).

Now, we don’t want to be rigid and spin out all sorts of rules and timetables and impossible-to-enforce schedules, but at the same time, we need to build SOME fences around this stuff so that it does not overwhelm us entirely. For instance, on the iMac, each child has an account, with a preset time allotment of one hour per day. But that’s just one of the digital conduits!

I’m betting all of you who are parents are struggling with this. How do you handle it (apart from, say, moving to Lancaster County and joining the Amish)? What’s working for your kids/family? Have you figured out strategies to allow healthy use without feeling like you’ve walked onto the set of the Invasion of the Family Snatchers? Please share in the comments!

(Image credit – no, not my kids, but very cute!)

A recent headline in Virtual World News certainly caught my eye: “FTC Study Finds ‘Explicit Sexual Content’ in Teen, Kids Virtual Worlds.”

Having written several reviews of kids virtual worlds here, I was at first relieved to not see any of them named in the article. Then, I got nervous when I found three of them listed as part of the survey sample: Build-a-Bear-ville, Handipoints and Pixie Hollow. However, after searching the report, the only mention of them I can find is in the appendix list of the survey sample; so, I’m hoping that is a sign that explicit content was not found in them.

But, to make sure, I dug into the FTC’s Virtual Worlds and Kids: Mapping the Risks - a 92-page report to Congress. All-in-all, I think it is rather balanced.

From a “master list” of 187 virtual worlds, the Commission constructed a sample of 27. Six were deliberatly included because they’d been identified as potentially containing explicit content. These worlds were Gaia, IMVU, There.com, Second Life, Red Light Center, and Kaneva - none of which are targeted at children under 13.

Fourteen of the 27 online virtual worlds in the Commission’s survey were open to children under age 13. Of these 14 virtual worlds, the Commission found at least one instance of explicit content on seven of them. All of that was observed when the Commission’s researchers visited those worlds posing as teen or adult registrants, not when visiting the worlds as children under 13 (with the exception of one world named Bots).
In six of these seven kid virtual worlds, the amount of explicit content observed was considered low.

Only in Stardoll, did the Commission find a moderate amount of explicit content. That’s one world I had thought of reviewing, but wasn’t sure it was right for my seven-year-old. Sounds like I might be wise to wait.

It’s interesting to see that they also note: “Because the Commission’s researchers examined these worlds with the express purpose of uncovering sexually and violently explicit content, it is unlikely that a typical user would stumble upon such content unintentionally.”

Almost all of the explicit content they found in the kid virtual worlds was text-based and was found in chat rooms, message boards, and discussion forums. In Stardoll, almost all of the explicit content observed was in the form of “violently explicit text posted on discussion boards. Again, however, none of the explicit content observed on Stardoll occurred when the Commission’s researchers registered as a child under age 13.47.”

Not surprisingly, the Commission found more explicit content in the online virtual worlds that are supposed to be closed to children under age 13 (“teen- and adult-oriented virtual worlds”). They found a greater concentration of explicit content in worlds that permit teens to register.

“Although some of the teen- and adult-oriented online virtual worlds in which the Commission observed explicit content have taken steps to restrict minors’ access to explicit content, their efforts have not fully succeeded. Virtual world operators can do more to limit youth exposure to explicit content. Given important First Amendment considerations, the Commission supports virtual world operators’ self-regulatory efforts to implement these recommendations.”

Some of the things they are suggesting include:

• better age-screening practices
• segregating users by age
• stronger language filters
• more community moderators, and
• parents and children alike should become better educated about online virtual worlds.

That last one is always the most important. Parents should never totally rely on age-screening mechanisms to keep their kids out of virtual worlds they shouldn’t be in — they’ll always find ways around registration restrictions.

It’s up to us to monitor where our kids are going online, teach them how to behave online, and teach them how to keep themselves safe when we’re not there.

As the Commission put it, “even properly registered children should be taught to make safe and responsible choices when communicating online, and to be cognizant of the risks posed by playing games and congregating in venues that may be designed for older audiences.”

What was the ultimate conclusion of the FTC Commission regarding explicit material in virtual worlds?

“Online virtual worlds provide children and teens with educational, social, and creative opportunities. However, as with other aspects of the Internet, youth may be exposed to explicit content while participating in online virtual worlds. Parents, therefore, should familiarize themselves with the features offered by the online virtual worlds their children visit. For their part, operators should ensure that they have mechanisms in place to limit youth exposure to explicit content in their online virtual worlds.”

I think that sums it up nicely.

Back in August, I saw a note on Twitter Moms about the opportunity to review a new book titled “The BlackBerry Diaries: Adventures in Modern Motherhood.”

Being a BlackBerry-toting mom myself, it sounded like a great opportunity to read something fun - for free - and, who can resist free? (Yes, FTC, I got a free copy of the book to review in this blog.)

The humor book is written like a blog, complete with tags at the end of each short, dated entry. This style turned out to be both a good thing and a bad thing for me. It’s good because the brief entries let you easily pop in and out of the book (you know, like when you have to step away to deal with something that just came in on your BlackBerry). But, it’s also bad because it can be a little too easy to set it aside.

I received my copy in early September and have yet to finish it. But, rather than wait any longer, I figured I should go ahead and earn my free book by writing about it now.

The premise of the book is that toddlers and technology are not so different. “If they’re quiet, you’re constantly checking them to make sure everything is okay. If they’re loud and interrrupting, you just want them to shut up and go away. When they do, the cycle starts all over again.”

There were some observations to which I could relate: “… many BB-using employees will burn out quicker and resign faster as they continue to jam two years’ worth of work into seven and a half months.” But, others that I could not: “The bottom line is this: children and BBSPs [one of the author's acronyms for BlackBerry Smartphone] are all about ownership, one upmanship and petty jealousies.”

And, according to an article in CIO, the author says “she’s sharing lessons learned from her experience using a BlackBerry over the past year to enhance her and her childrens’ lives;” and, quite frankly, I didn’t see any of that in the book. Tips like don’t share your BlackBerry with someone or theyll see your BrickBreaker score, don’t use your BlackBerry at fondue parties and BlackBerries are good for keeping up with neighborhood gossip, yes. But, life enhancements? I’m afraid not.

It’s a nice, light, sometimes funny read; but, maybe because my girl is no longer a toddler or maybe because I’ve added an iPhone (personal) to my BlackBerry (work), I just never could really get into it. Not every book has to be a page-turner, I guess. But, since this one didn’t turn out to be for me, it remains unfinished. And apparently, I’m not the only one who hasn’t turned all its pages.

If anyone out there made it to the end and feels I missed something, please let me know!

This is part of a series of posts looking at virtual worlds targeted toward kids.

It seems appropriate to be writing this review from a vacation beach house that has mezuzos on the door posts, since the virtual world of Shidonni is an Israeli start-up.

The first kid’s virtual world we’ve encountered that runs on Microsoft’s Flash competitor Silverlight (be prepared to download it before playing), it is most unique for the fact that kids get to draw their own virtual animals. We’re not just talking about picking and choosing avatar styles or clothing - Shidonni presents a blank slate for artistic children ages 6-12 to draw an animal and watch it come to life. They also draw the virtual backyard or home their animal lives in, and they draw food and their animal eats it!

In no time at all, my girl had populated the world with a dog and cat which soon had a kitten. Then after I read this post about the easy tutorials, she followed some of them and added a penguin, a turtle and a bird to her menagerie. Next, she started playing games with them and visiting other worlds.

A blogger shot this video of Guy Bendov, head of marketing and business development at Shidonni at Seedcamp Tel-Aviv explaining the virtual world. It’s nice to hear the view from the inside:

The Good

Shidonni has found a unique angle in a field that is rather glutted. I like the creativity it fosters by allowing kids to really build their world. My girl thought it sounded a bit boring when I first mentioned it to her after reading about it in Virtual World News; but, after seeing her first drawing come to life, she was hooked.

This world is a good one for younger children because it requires little to no reading skills, and has a number of simple games like chutes and ladders or puzzles made from your drawings. There is also plenty to do with the free account, but if you choose to upgrade to a membership (typical “freemium” style) you get more colors, brushes and stamps  with which to draw.

The Bad

While extensive language skills are not required to play Shidonni, it can be rather hard to draw on a computer if you’re not used to it. My girl preferred drawing with her finger on the trackpad of our laptop, rather than the mouse. If you happen to have a graphics pad, I bet it would be better.

If you are looking to make connections with others in-world, it is not exactly easy. While the fact that you must know someone’s user ID before you can connect with them as a friend is good for privacy and protection of children, it also makes it difficult to interact with others. And, if you’re thinking about inviting a friend to join so you can make that virtual connection with a real life buddy, your option for facilitating it is a set of invitations you have to print and hand or mail to them.

The Lessons Learned

Overall, Shidonni seems to be a very unique entry into the kid-targeted virtual world market. The very thing that makes it unique, however, also means a little preparation might be useful before heading in-world. Our recommentation would be to do a few practice draws on paper or on another drawing application before you begin drawing your virtual pet. My girl was rather disappointed with her first efforts, which could impede the desire to continue in those easily frustrated.

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• Shidonni Makes Kids’ Pets Come Alive (blonde2dot0.com)
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This is part of a series of posts looking at virtual worlds targeted toward kids.

If your kids watch the same TV channels mine does, then you’ve probably seen the commercials for a new virtual world called Free Realms. My girl certainly saw them and wanted to go check it out, so our series of kid-focused virtual world reviews continues.

Free Realms
Free Realms bills itself as “a fun, whimsical virtual world filled with dynamic gameplay and compelling content for everyone, especially families.” It’s really more of a pure MMOG than any of the other worlds we’ve toured as part of this series. As soon as my girl set up her account (all by herself, except for my need to give her an e-mail to attach to the account) and entered the world, she was met by a character asking her to embark on her first quest. This prevents the “what do I do now” issue that plagues some virtual worlds, but also aligns more firmly with games such as the non-kid-focused World of Warcraft (WoW).

With more than a million people signing up for it in the first week and that number doubled already, it’s on target to be just as popular as WoW, too. In addition to quests, kids can work at a variety of jobs from pet trainer to ninja to miner and others mentioned below. Like most other kid virtual worlds, you can enter and play for free; but, for $4.99/month you can upgrade to get more things like additional job options, and you’ll also pay to purchase items.

The Good
Free Realms automatically limits kids under 13 to “quick chat” - my preferred choice for my youngster because it restricts them to a preprogramed set of words and phrases to communicate. That way you don’t have to worry about them giving out any personal information (but, don’t let that get you off the hook for still having that discussion about what you don’t share online).
Free Realms’ parent controls area also mentions that they intend to implement a feature which will permit you to customize a calendar to set times of day and/or days of the week that your kid will have access to the account online, as well as days and times during which they may play.

The Bad
I’m willing to bet that most of us teach our kids that fighting is wrong, so it’s a little unsettling to see that quests in Free Realms can involve combat and one of the jobs kids can get is called a Brawler. Brawlers are described as being “up for fight anytime with anyone” and they “use hammers, clubs, and powerful kicks to defeat enemies.”
We didn’t run into any Brawlers in our first few visits to Free Realms, but then again, we didn’t run into anyone other than the in-world characters who play parts in the quests. This may or may not be a bad thing, but struck me as odd considering there are supposed to be more than 2 million people in-world now.

The Lessons Learned
I only heard the “rated E for everyone” part of the commercials, but when you really look, you’ll see it is “everyone 10+” and I would reccomend following that age recommendation from the Entertainment Software Rating Board. Even more specifically the rating warns of “crude humor” and “fantasy violence.” We haven’t encountered the humor yet, but as noted above, the violence is definitely there.

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• Free Realms Still Growing Insanely Quickly [E3 2009] (kotaku.com)
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• Video Game Review | Free Realms: Pick a Role, Any Role, Then Live Nine Lives (nytimes.com)

A couple of months ago, someone tried to break into our house in the middle of the night. As the rest of the family slept like logs, I awoke at 3:00 a.m. to the sound of someone trying to get in the front door.

Long story short, he was arrested with no real damage done. Except, of course, for the fact that I haven’t slept much since.

Every creek of our old home wakes me up; sure that someone is on the stairs, in one of the girl’s bedrooms, or lurking behind a dark corner.  Of course, even after I get up to check, it’s hard to get back to sleep, so lately I’ve been spending a good chunk of time lying in bed at night exercising my imagination.

We took some simple steps to beef up our security – you know, double- and triple-checking the locks on the doors before bed, actually turning on the security system at night, buying an aluminum baseball bat. 

And then, one beautiful day last week, a package arrived in the mail. Hubby said it was a gift for me, but I should open it after the girls went to bed. Turns out, the next person who tries to break into our house is in for a real shock, because in the box was my very own stun gun! 

Let me tell you, nothing makes a girl feel secure like 200,000 volts of electricity popping and zapping in her hot little hands. The pepper spray loaded in the handle is the icing on the cake.

For me, it’s the perfect solution. I feel empowered to do some real damage if I ever have to face-off against and intruder, but I know it won’t kill anyone if  (God forbid) the kids ever find its hiding place, unlock the safety and decide to give it a go. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some sleep to catch up on.

No matter what, I’ll always be able to tell my kids that I beat them to Facebook.

Granted, they’re only 2 and 3 right now, but STILL, I was there FIRST. My latest online reading/giggling obsession has been Oh Crap. My Parents Joined Facebook.

If you haven’t been there yet, go! Now!

I’ll wait……..ho hum. Twiddling thumbs. Getting some coffee.

Ok, back now.

Funny, funny stuff, people. Right?

And my poor, poor children.

I’m such a geek that no matter what tech thing is hot when they’re teenagers, I’ll have been there first.

Guaranteed.

Evil laughter……….

FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATE, MON, MAR 16, 2009:

3:49pm Christian reports: Berkeley (7lbs, 7oz - 20 in - 9.9 Apgar Scale) sends her love to all. She’s now feeding for the 1st time like she’s been doing it her whole life!

***

BACKSTORY:

Two and a half years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting my son, Beckett, for the first time.

As a first time father, Beckett’s arrival in our Ft. Worth, TX hospital delivery room — and his mother, Karla, who did all the heroic work that life-changing day — truly humbled me.  Trying to convey to my own mother on my cell phone a minutes later what it like to see him born and to hold him in my own arms was nearly impossible.  I simply lacked the words.  Tears replaced them as I fumbled to express myself.  Luckily, she understood and let me go back to my wife and son, telling me to give her a call later that night when time allowed me to fill her in more fully.

While photographs have allowed me to ‘remember’ those first few minutes/hours of Beckett’s young life, so much of what took place that afternoon has faded into the funky contours of the human brain, lost to the natural passing of time.  Even the entries I posted on our family blog only hit a few highlights, often written long after they took place.  The sense of the in-the-moment immediacy and wunderlust, however, was impossible to translate…

…until now.

FAST FORWARD:

Two and a half years later, my wife and I returned to the same hospital delivery unit to meet our first daughter, Berkeley.

Since Beckett’s birth, our family blog has magnified significantly from a tepid attempt to semi-privately ‘journal’ a few family moments here and there to the development of a robust hub of digital stories, photos, and videos that are now regularly shared with hundreds of family, friends, colleagues, and strangers around the world.  At last count, we’ve crossed the 2,250 blog post mark…and that was before our daughter’s birth.  We suspect a ‘few’ more will be added, too.

Additionally, we’ve added an iPhone to our tool set, not to mention dualing Facebook accounts for both parents. This means that just-in-time storytelling options have been magnified far beyond the boundaries of what a family blog can pull off.  Seems that blogging is so last status update.

It was only a matter of time before we’d put it all together, letting our family and friends grab a virtual real-time seat with us as we prepared to deliver our daughter via type-n-post Facebook status updates. something that would have been inconceivable not that long ago.

• Ever wondered how you’d tell the story of your child’s birth through the lens of 140-character Facebook status updates?
• Ever wondered what it’d be like to Facebook status update every step leading to, during, and after your child’s birth?
• Ever wonder how such a story would read, one status update at a time?

This is our story, told 140-characters (or less) at at time.

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