Sherry Carr Deer is a Mommy to Nicholas who just turned 3, fiance to William, the widow of Mark, and a PR professional at a non-profit hospital. You can read more of her posts here.
I am having a great time planning our wedding. William is such a great fiance, shares his opinions, but has for the most part let me go with my feelings. Nicholas was recently ring barer in his cousin’s wedding, so every time we talk about our wedding with him, he asks if he’ll get to wear a tuxedo.
In the course of the planning, I’ve been thinking a lot about my name…and Nicholas’ name…and William’s name. Specifically whether or not to change mine when we get married.
When Mark and I married, it was important to me to keep my name (Carr) and add his (Deer). All my introductions with new people sound like this, “No, that’s two last names with no hyphen. Right. Carr with 2 “r’s” and Deer like the animal. No, no “e” on the end of Deer. Like the animal. D-E-E-R.” Despite warnings from married female professors at the time, I didn’t just keep my name. But, it’s a name that once people get it, don’t usually forget it. I think it’s something about the imagery of a car hitting a deer.
Well, my fella’s last name isn’t quite so distinctive, and it will make me one of many with the same name. And if I take his name and drop mine altogether, I won’t have a common name with Nicholas at all. But if I don’t take his name in some form, I won’t have a common name with potential children I have with William.
For those of you who have remarried (or have siblings because of blended families), how big a deal is it to have a household full of different last names? Is it strange? Hard to navigate? Would it be difficult for Nicholas to be the only one in our family with his name?
I do have to admit that it would be nice to never have to spell my last name and to always know where my last name should fall in the alphabitized list at a doctor’s office. My introductions to new people would sound like this, “That’s Sherry with two r’s. Last name Smith.” Simple. Elegant.
What do you think? How does “Sherry Smith” sound? Do any of you have a different professional name from your personal name?
Sherry Carr Deer-Smith?
