Two coming attractions at the movie theater are based on books that both my girl and I have enjoyed reading - “Where the Wild Things Are” and “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.”

“Where the Wild Things Are” was a book that I read in my own childhood and a fellow bibliophile I used to work with (thanks Leslie) made sure my child got the chance to read it, too, by including it in a baby shower gift. The “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs” book came a little late for me, but my librarian mother introduced it to my girl and she and I both enjoyed it.

Now, bringing a book to the movie screen has always been fraught with danger. Everyone who has read a book has their own ideas about how the characters look, so casting can get a lot of fan input or backlash (Tom Cruise as Lestat anyone?). Storylines often get changed to meet a perceived desire of audiences to always have happy endings (think “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” and “The Scarlet Letter“). Sometimes entire characters are dropped or added, which frustrated me in “Angels and Demons,” despite the fact that I can understand things need to be edited sometimes to squeeze an entire book into a couple of hours of screen time.

That difficulty of making the in-depth short is probably the most common cause of changes that frustrate book lovers who see the movies based on them. But what of short childrens’ books that need to be expanded to make them long enough for a movie? Does that make it any easier for adaptation? I’m thinking not based strictly on my own mixed feelings about these two new movies.

It appears that they have expanded Cloudy primarily by adding a story in front of the story - giving the audience a tale of how the food first came to fall from the sky in the town of Chewandswallow - and I think this will work nicely.

But, from what I can tell from the fantastic Wild Things trailers, the 10 sentences of the original story are getting a lot of filler in between them - thus potentially changing the story a bit more. The live-action attempt at The Grinch Who Stole Christmas tried doing both and I don’t think the results were very spectacular there.

Obviously aware that I’m not the only one a bit leery of this, the studio has made a point to include original Wild Things author Maurice Sendak in many publicity events and he has been reporting saying the “Wild Things Movie Will Be Okay” as well as promising the “Wild Things Movie Will Be Dark and Controversial.”

Hmm…

Either way, I will probably see both movies. Not needing an excuse to watch kids’ movies, after all, is one of the perks of this mommy gig, right? And, while I will definitely enter the Wild Things theater with trepidation and concern that the book will never read the same for me again, I bet this trailer makes you want to see more, too.

(The Arcade Fire song on this Wild Things trailer really helps inspire a sense of wonder and the desire to see it - too bad word is it won’t be in the actual movie.)

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• Childhood Memories Coming to a Theater Near You (firstbook.org)
• Watch This: Maurice Sendak Talks ‘Wild Things’ (cinematical.com)
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• Jonze And Sendak Meeting Like Something From A Spike Jonze Movie (cinemablend.com)

Last week, I thought that someone had written books for adults based on the hilarious Numeroff/Bond children’s series that includes If you give a mouse a cookie & If you give a pig a pancake - but I was wrong. No one had done it, so I wrote one myself called, If you give a mom a martini…and now…I can’t seem to stop. Again, feel free to illustrate this story in your own mind or send me the name of your best friend, the illustrator or publisher.

If you give a 40 year old man a Ferrari…

He’s going to want a pair of leather pants to go with it.

When he starts remembering how good he looked in these pants, he’ll realize that he also needs a 20 year old blonde so he can show off his leather-clad derrière.

While you’re calling the blonde, he’ll fish his leather pants out of the basement.

He’ll have a terrible time pulling them up over his hairy legs and gut, so he’ll search frantically for the BowFlex he got for his birthday last year.

When he finds it, he’ll hop on and start pumping away, doing as many exercises as he possibly can.

This will make him very sweaty and he’ll tell you he needs to take a shower. But on his way to the bathroom, the doorbell will ring.

“It’s the blonde,” he’ll shout. And, then, he’ll ask you to answer the door.

Just as you start to open it, he’ll come tumbling down the stairs, because he can’t walk with his leather pants down around his ankles and because he, quite possibly, tripped over his own excitement (if you know what I mean).

He’ll land on the ground in front of the door.

When he sees the blonde standing there, looming over him, he’ll ask her what she stuffed her bra with and how she made her breasts stand up so high.

She’ll smack him hard with her Fendi bag and declare, ‘These are real!’

And then he’ll look at your boobs - sagging and low from feeding the fruits of his loins - and he’ll remember what real is.

So, he’ll kindly explain to the blonde that he made a mistake and that she should leave.

As you politely slam the door behind her, he’ll grab you and start kissing you with all he’s got. Which will make him feel like a virile young man.

He’ll get so excited that he’ll try to pull on his leather pants again…

And chances are, if he gets those pants on…he’s going to want a Ferrari to go with them.

Image Credit: fiskfisk

We have a lot of children’s books in our house - what with two 3 year olds and all. As a writer, (with 5 children’s books written and just waiting for a publisher to swoop in and make them as real as the Velventeen Rabbit) I’m a pretty huge snob when I’m reading to our children.

I’ve been known to stop mid-way through a book - interrupting my sleepy. sweet, ‘let’s go to bed’, mommy voice - to shout at Patti, “Can you believe they publish this CRAP?” Really, I just don’t understand. My books are well written, they make sense, they have a purpose. And some of these books are just nonsense.

But I digress, there are also many wonderful books with great writing and hilarious concepts…and one of my favorites? The ‘If you give a (something) a (whatnot)” series. Laura Joffe Numeroff writes the books, Felicia Bond illustrates them - they make a perfect match. There’s, If you give a pig a pancake and If you give a moose a muffin and If you give a mouse a cookie to name a few. And I love them. They follow a sweet child on a journey with a couple of ballsy animals that want, want, want - full circle. “If you give a mouse a cookie, he’s probably going to want a glass of milk…” which leads to a milk mustache which leads to a bath which leads to… - you get the point, right?

The formula is delicious - I’m a big fan of circular writing.

Which is why I got so excited when I saw Jessica Smith’s post about a new book called, If you give a mom a martini. It turns out this adult book offers 100 ways to find mommy bliss and alone time - and I was terribly disappointed. I wanted the other book - the kids book for grown-ups.

So, what’s a writer to do? Well, write the book you want to read of course. I don’t have the illustrations, use your imagination for the images - and feel free to send your illustrator and publishing contacts along…

Ready? Here we go:

~If you give a mom a martini…she’s going to want a nice dinner to go with it.

~So, you’ll make her a reservation.

~When she hears about the reservation, she’ll want you to find a babysitter.

~You’ll take out the phone book and start making calls, which will remind her that she needs the newest iPhone.

~When she goes online to buy it, she’ll notice that she has several new followers on Twitter. So she’ll check to see who they are.

~At least 20 of them will be spammers offering sex and 400 followers a day, and they’ll feature a sultry photo of Jennifer Aniston which will remind her of Friends and how much she loved that show.

~She’ll go to iTunes to download every season and notice the premier dates of the series. This will make her smack her iMac really hard - because the first season of Friends couldn’t possibly have started in 1994…because that would make her, well, 36. And that’s not possible.

~She’ll insist that you buy her a new computer that doesn’t compute wrong.

~When you start to tell her that it’s actually true (because you were a senior in college and you remember where you were when it happened - it’s like the JFK assassination for Gen X’ers), she’ll be reminded that you’re kind of dense.

~She’ll ask you for a shoe horn to help you remove your foot from your mouth. You’ll give it to her - albeit slowly - and just before she clocks you in the head with it, she’ll see the box that you took it out of and catch a glimpse of a gorgeous sandal.

~So she’ll ask you, shoe horn still in ready position, ‘What are ,those?’

~You’ll nudge the box towards her with your toe and grab the shoe horn as she bends down to take a closer look. The black strappy sandals will remind her of a black strappy dress she hasn’t worn in months.

~Strappy sandals in hand, she’ll head to the closet to get the dress and announce that you have to go out for a nice dinner immediately.

~And chances are, if you take her out for a nice dinner, she’s going to want a martini to go with it.

Image credit: JazarellaMozarella