I was traveling recently and found myself with some downtime in between layovers. I headed into one of those airport “all in one” stores to find some trash mags or something “light” to read. Instead, I found myself picking up a copy of Beautiful Boy.
Somehow I had missed the buzz about this book and the real life story behind it. I suppose we all pay the most attention to things that matter to us or are relevant to our own lives. This story wasn’t relevant to me in any way other than it was written by a parent, and I’m a parent. The jacket cover was compelling - it is the (half) image of what looks like a young boy leaping with joy. The name of the book piqued my interest as well… how can you not look at your own sons and think, “oh, my beautiful boy”?
So I picked up the book and I don’t think that I put it down until I was finished. This book is something that every parent of a teen or a teen-to-be should read. It was heartbreaking, compelling and honestly gut-wrenching.
The book is from journalist and author David Sheff. It chronicles his journey from raising his young son to watching his demise as he became addicted to marijuana, heroin and ultimately, crystal meth.
I knew nothing about crystal meth before reading this book. I didn’t want to, wouldn’t have thought about it and didn’t think I needed to.
But as I read this book, I became compelled with the years that are ahead of me. And I became damn scared of the challenges that I’m sure to face as a parent.
I’ve always known that there will come a point in my “parental life” that I will need to address the issues of drugs, alcohol and other other not-so-fun discussions with my children. But I think, like most parents, I’ve been assuming that those discussions would come at a much later time in life. Sheff’s son first got drunk at the age of eleven. That age is only four years away for my oldest son.
After reading this book (and yes, I highly, highly recommend it), I find myself torn. When do I talk to my children about drugs? When do I recognize that they’re becoming curious and to what degree do I discuss it? How do you have these discussions without making your teens run right to the very thing you’re trying to discourage them from?
If you’ve been through this I’d love to hear how you did it successfully. What age were your children when you first talked about drugs and alcohol? How did you handle discussions about drunk driving? Did you react with anger the first time your son or daughter was caught drinking? Any other insights to share? I’m sure our readers would also love to hear your advice or experiences in handling such a difficult part of raising children.
After reading David Sheff’s book, I picked up his son’s companion book – “Tweak - Growing Up on Methamphetamines” - the same story from Nic Sheff’s point of view. If I thought David’s was hard to read, Nic’s was one that I had to step away from a few times. The things that he did to himself with - and for - drugs were almost unbearable to read. But it’s also a story of love, learning, family and raising children. It’s a story of heartbreak, self-hatred and ultimately, the human spirit.
David and Nic Sheff talk about their story on Oprah
David and Nic bring to light some very difficult situations that will force us all to think twice about the decisions we make as parents. And, the fact that at some point, you have to let your children live their lives – although we want to, we can’t fix everything for them. Sometimes, learning that is the hardest lesson of all.
