Posts Tagged drugs

Losing a Child to Drugs: ‘Beautiful Boy’ and ‘Tweak’ Chronicle Both Sides of the Heartbreaking Story

I was traveling recently and found myself with some downtime in between layovers. I headed into one of those airport “all in one” stores to find some trash mags or something “light” to read. Instead, I found myself picking up a copy of Beautiful Boy.

Somehow I had missed the buzz about this book and the real life story behind it. I suppose we all pay the most attention to things that matter to us or are relevant to our own lives. This story wasn’t relevant to me in any way other than it was written by a parent, and I’m a parent. The jacket cover was compelling - it is the (half) image of what looks like a young boy leaping with joy. The name of the book piqued my interest as well… how can you not look at your own sons and think, “oh, my beautiful boy”?

beautiful_boy_2

So I picked up the book and I don’t think that I put it down until I was finished. This book is something that every parent of a teen or a teen-to-be should read. It was heartbreaking, compelling and honestly gut-wrenching.

The book is from journalist and author David Sheff. It chronicles his journey from raising his young son to watching his demise as he became addicted to marijuana, heroin and ultimately, crystal meth.

I knew nothing about crystal meth before reading this book. I didn’t want to, wouldn’t have thought about it and didn’t think I needed to.

But as I read this book, I became compelled with the years that are ahead of me. And I became damn scared of the challenges that I’m sure to face as a parent.

I’ve always known that there will come a point in my “parental life” that I will need to address the issues of drugs, alcohol and other other not-so-fun discussions with my children. But I think, like most parents, I’ve been assuming that those discussions would come at a much later time in life. Sheff’s son first got drunk at the age of eleven. That age is only four years away for my oldest son.

After reading this book (and yes, I highly, highly recommend it), I find myself torn. When do I talk to my children about drugs? When do I recognize that they’re becoming curious and to what degree do I discuss it? How do you have these discussions without making your teens run right to the very thing you’re trying to discourage them from?

If you’ve been through this I’d love to hear how you did it successfully. What age were your children when you first talked about drugs and alcohol? How did you handle discussions about drunk driving? Did you react with anger the first time your son or daughter was caught drinking? Any other insights to share? I’m sure our readers would also love to hear your advice or experiences in handling such a difficult part of raising children.

After reading David Sheff’s book, I picked up his son’s companion book – “Tweak - Growing Up on Methamphetamines” - the same story from Nic Sheff’s point of view. If I thought David’s was hard to read, Nic’s was one that I had to step away from a few times. The things that he did to himself with - and for - drugs were almost unbearable to read. But it’s also a story of love, learning, family and raising children. It’s a story of heartbreak, self-hatred and ultimately, the human spirit.

 

David and Nic Sheff talk about their story on Oprah

David and Nic Sheff talk about their story on Oprah

David and Nic bring to light some very difficult situations that will force us all to think twice about the decisions we make as parents. And, the fact that at some point, you have to let your children live their lives – although we want to, we can’t fix everything for them. Sometimes, learning that is the hardest lesson of all.

A Nagging Case of Hypochondria

Pill box

The New York Times recently printed an article in its Health section that I find deeply troubling. Evidently some parents whose young children experience “a nagging case of hypochondria” are being advised to use a placebo pill.

The message is clear: if you don’t feel well, there is some type of medication that will cure you. It doesn’t take much imagination to see the logical extension of this philosophy. If your life is not going well, if you’re unhappy, if you’re bored or tired or out of sorts - there’s a pill or drug to fix you up.

It’s never easy to see a little one unwell or in pain. But to condone administering placebos - fake pills - just seems wrong to me. When their illness is a minor one, comfort your children with kisses and hugs. Rock them and cuddle them and let them know they are loved. But don’t give them the message that drugs are the answer to all problems.