Hi, friends.  It’s been awhile since I last posted; please accept my apologies.  As you might imagine, life’s been a little bit… strange around the G family household this summer!  

I say that because of this earlier post about my husband being unexpectedly downsized out of his job a month or so ago.  Remember now?  Okay, moving on…

It’s taken some time for all of it to really sink in for us, considering that I was already unemployed at the time (having chosen to leave my job early in ‘08 to stay at home with our son) and then there we were, both of us unemployed.  But while reality has sunk in, the panic really hasn’t.  Not yet, anyway.  

Financially, we figure we’re okay for several months if we’re careful, so that’s not so much a problem just yet.  And, really, there haven’t been ANY problems that have arisen out of the situation.  

Nope.  It’s all been pretty good, actually.     

Dan has been a million times less stressed out, which seems somehow wrong in the circumstances, but is actually really nice.  He had spent so many months being anxious and on edge in an environment that had become increasingly tense and unpleasant, so when the ever-looming question “will I be next?” was finally answered, it was almost a relief just to know so we could finally stop wondering and worrying.  

And not only has he been less stressed out, but he’s been surprisingly and gratefully optimistic and positive for the new opportunity that he’s been given by way of this unexpected career detour.  Our networks had rallied so quickly and effectively in the immediate aftermath of Dan’s downsizing that he had over half-a-dozen interviews lined up within the first two weeks, and he’s still in the running for several of those positions.  The tremendous support and encouragement our friends and business associates have shown is overwhelming and wonderful, and I know it has helped keep Dan’s outlook positive.  It’s good to feel wanted, to feel appreciated.  And that he is.  

It’s also been nice to have him around more.  Yeah, those first few weeks were a little rough with us bumping into each other every time we turned around, but once we acclimated to all of us being home together all the time, we realized that it didn’t have to be hell!  We’ve started taking picnic lunches together, down to the lakefront, to a park, to the zoo.  We’ve taken time to go for bike rides, kick a soccer ball around in the backyard, take our dog for a walk, play a game.  Even just running errands together has become a nice little treat that we can do together.  We’ve felt more like a family in the past month than we have in a long time, and I think it’s because Dan’s mind is no longer preoccupied with the stress of his old job but is open and clear and looking to a better future. 

Aside from all that, we’ve been spending a LOT less money, which has helped us realize that we CAN spend a lot less money than we were.  Of course, spending less is a natural byproduct of finding ourselves mutually unemployed, but it’s not like we became paupers the minute Dan was downsized, so it wasn’t absolutely essential that we suddenly pinch every single penny. I think we’ve both just started really weighing whether something is worth spending money on right now, and we’re both coming up with “no” as the answer far more often, even with something as simple as stopping by Starbucks while out running errands.  It feels good.  I think this is one thing that’s going to stick with us even when Dan finds his next opportunity.  

Which leads me to the next segment of today’s post… 

Interestingly enough, one of the opportunities that Dan has been pursuing is with a company based in Georgia.  

Because Alexis is here in Wisconsin, Dan and I have never in our 10 years together considered the possibility of moving elsewhere.  Until now.

And, I tell you, it’s like a whole new world has opened up before our eyes.  We’ve been going through the past 10 years with blinders on, never thinking about or imagining making a life for our family anywhere other than where we are right now, probably because we’ve never had to think about it.  Funny how a job search in a crummy job market can force you to think outside the box!

Sure, in my early twenties I dreamed (often) of moving out to California, getting my big break in Hollywood and living out my days along the Pacific coast.  But those dreams went up in a cloud of smoke when I met Dan and decided he was “The One,” because his then 2-year-old daughter was here, which meant he had to be here.  

Alexis is now 12.  And while it would be very hard for us to move farther away from her, and it’s not what we’d prefer to do, at least it’s not as hard as it would’ve been when she was so little, and we may have to move in order to keep the ship afloat.  She’s old enough to understand now that even if we aren’t here physically, she’d always be in our thoughts and our hearts and would be just a phone call or plane ride away. She’s also at an age where she’s developing more of a sense of adventure, so the prospect of being able to visit us someplace totally new and different is kind of intriguing to her.  

The toughest aspect of us potentially relocating now is that Alexis is still adjusting to life after her mom and stepdad’s divorce, which became official in March after nearly 10 years of marriage.  Her stepdad was her day-to-day dad for all intents and purposes, and they had a wonderful relationship, so it’s been a big period of adjustment for her.  Fortunately, her stepdad has remained a strong figure in her life in the months since, and he and her mom have remained friends in the aftermath of their divorce, so we feel confident that he will continue to play a positive role in Alexis’ life.   

All of that notwithstanding, the fact that Dan was willing to consider the possibility of relocation for the one opportunity has resulted in us realizing that the scope of his job search can be so much bigger than we’d previously thought.  And it’s actually fortunate in the circumstances that I’m also unemployed because I’m not tied here by a job either.  We’re at the perfect crossroads in our lives to look at making a major move, and I have to admit that it’s a little bit exciting, realizing that.  

There’s nothing to keep us from going to Georgia, or North Carolina, or New York, or California, Seattle, Portland, Denver…  The world (or at least the United States) is literally our oyster right now.  How cool is that?!? 

Now, if only our friends and families would stop sending us emails and leaving us messages saying that we’re not allowed to move…  Although I suppose it could be worse: They could be encouraging us to move away! 

Thanks to those of you who have followed our story and offered words of encouragement - we really appreciate them!

Amy Giampetroni is a happily married woman, a full-time stay-at-home mom to a preschool boy and a part-time stepmom to an adolescent girl, living in Wisconsin. You can read more about Amy here and at her blog, Average Everyday Super Woman. Click here to check out Amy’s other posts on This Mommy Gig.

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Amy Giampetroni is a happily married woman, a full-time stay-at-home mom to a preschool boy and a part-time stepmom to an adolescent girl, living in Wisconsin. You can read more about Amy here and at her blog, Average Everyday Super Woman. Click here to check out Amy’s other posts on This Mommy Gig.

As you may have read, my husband was downsized out of a job a week ago today.  I was up north visiting my dad for the few days afterwards, and got home last Thursday evening.  Since then, Dan, Angelo and I have spent a whole lotta time together, which one would think would be a good thing.  And it was - at the beginning.  I think that today was the tipping point.  

Naturally the weather was stormy and wet for much of the day here, so Ang and I were cooped up indoors instead of getting together with a friend of mine and her kids for a day of swimming at a pool. Now, I’m never one to get too disgruntled by a previously scheduled day suddenly becoming “free,” but I think both Angelo and I were ready to get back to our normal routine.  Which normally involves Daddy going to work before we wake up in the morning and us having the day - and the house - to ourselves until at least 6pm!

Dan spent yet another day on the phone with various friends and business contacts talking about possible opportunities, which meant that Angelo and I had to keep the racket down to a minimum. That is soooo not the norm for us!  Heck, I’m usually vacuuming or I have my iPod on our speaker system and I’m singing (and dancing) while I do other housework or knitting or whatever, and Angelo has the sound up at a normal volume on his computer games or the t.v., or is running around playing with toys and being, well, a normal 5-year-old boy, complete with truck noises, alien invasion noises and all.  It was hard having to tiptoe around half the day making sure we were “quiet for Daddy.”  

This evening, we all decided to run to Target after devouring their flyer and the coupon sections of yesterday’s paper looking for deals on the things we needed.  For starters, Angelo didn’t want to go “run errands,” so he was already being a little belligerent, but then he also kept asking if we could buy a new Ben-10 alien.  We kept trying to explain to him that with both Mommy and Daddy not working at the moment, we don’t have the extra money for that right now.  Totally fell on deaf ears.  Totally.  

On top of that, Dan and I aren’t usually what you’d call “bargain shoppers” - usually when we go to Target, we have maybe six items on our shopping list but we end up with 60 in our cart by the end, and we never get out of there for less than $100 - EVER.  And normally we don’t really care!  Well, tonight we were on a mission to get good deals and save as much money as possible.  That meant much longer stops in each aisle as I scoured the flyer to see if that was on special and dug through my freshly-clipped coupons to see if I had one for those items.  Stops when Angelo had a little more time to make some mischief and beg and whine for a Ben-10 alien, naturally.  

To make matters worse, Dan was also feeling the cabin fever Angelo and I felt, and my usually patient-as-a-saint husband was testy and impatient.  I’m sorry but that’s usually MY gig, and I’m not handing over those reins without a fight!

Needless to say, it didn’t add up to a very pleasant shopping experience, which is sad because when both of us were working full-time, we used to really enjoy running errands as a family - that was our together time, and since we weren’t usually worried about money, it was just easy and fun and… um…. fruitful.  :)

On the way out to the car, Angelo was really laying on the whining thick, and was pulling his hand away from us, which he knows is a total no-no in a parking lot.  Dan yelled at him, Angelo got sassy back, and both were fuming while I was trying to defuse the situation.  I hate being in that role!  

When we got in the car, I leaned over to my wonderful husband and whispered, “Please don’t turn into me now.  You’re supposed to be the nice, calm, happy one of the two of us, right?  And please cut him [Angelo] a little bit of a break - he’s not used to you being with us all day for this long.  I know you’re frustrated, but we all have to find a way to get used to this new arrangement, and it’s going to take some time.”  He paused, looked at me, and said, “You’re right.  I know.”  Enough said.  

I think the magnitude of this situation really started to hit us both today.  Which is unfortunate, because we’ve been riding this tide of support and job leads, confidence and optimism for the past week and were doing pretty darn well with the whole thing, all things considered.  We know from a practical standpoint that we will be okay financially for several months if nothing pans out right away, but I think we’re starting to consider the other aspects of the situation now, like being together far more now that we need to tighten our belts.  It’s one thing on gorgeous sunny days when I can take Angelo to the zoo (we have a family zoo pass) or to a park or on a picnic while Dan keeps his nose to the grindstone in his new full-time job of finding a new full-time job.  But on the days when the weather stinks, we have to deal with the fact that we’re going to be hanging out together a LOT more, because we don’t have memberships to any other indoor places, and those places otherwise cost money.  Thank goodness we have a decent sized house - we can at least hide out in our own corners when we need a break from one another!

It’s challenging but also interesting having to suddenly find a new normal for our household now that Dan’s home with us.  Trying to find a balance between time spent together, taking advantage of the fact that Dan is home, and time spent doing our usual things or whatever needs to get done.  Trying to find a balance between saving money and saving our sanity.  I’ll keep you posted on how it all plays out!

Amy Giampetroni is a happily married woman, a full-time stay-at-home mom to a preschool boy and a part-time stepmom to an adolescent girl, living in Wisconsin. You can read more about Amy here and at her blog, Average Everyday Super Woman. Click here to check out Amy’s other posts on This Mommy Gig.

The 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays, and as usual, I had all sorts of fun things planned for the week:  A trip to Ashland to visit my dad and stepmom with my son; spending the day at our community 4th of July parade and then heading to a friend’s house for an “after-party”; watching fireworks with my family…   All good, normal, everyday kinds of things, right?   Well.

On Monday, I drove 7 hours north to Ashland with no major mishaps.  The weather was beautiful, Angelo was a good little traveler, and traffic was great being that it was a weekday afternoon.  There was just one tiny little problem:  Starting in the late afternoon, I couldn’t reach my husband when I was trying to call him to let him know where we were in our travels, and he KNOWS from experience that I like being able to reach him when I’m traveling without him in case anything happens.  With each trip into his voicemail I was growing more concerned, and then more frustrated.  By the time I got to my dad’s at 8pm, I was flipping out.  

I had no sooner sat down on the couch to visit with my parents when their phone rang.  It was my husband.  When I asked why he hadn’t been answering his phone, his answer knocked me right off my feet:  ”Honey, I was the latest one to be ‘downsized’ today.”

WHAT?!?

I thought he was kidding, trying to get out of me being ticked that I couldn’t reach him for the past four hours.  I even asked him if he was joking.  His answer?  ”‘Fraid not.”

I felt instantly sick to my stomach as a hard knot of panic settled into my gut.  This cannot be happening, I thought.  I’m a stay-at-home mom; I’m not working.  Now he’s not working.  What are we going to do?!?

I was speechless as he filled me in on the gory details of his afternoon.  I could hear the shock in his voice as I stood there, 375 miles away from him, and I just wanted to hop back into the van and drive straight back home.  

We had a good conversation - I only cried once! (miraculous) - and in the end we both resolved that this is NOT the end of the world and we weren’t going to waste our time panicking or freaking out over it.  We’re obviously concerned, but we’re not desperate: We have enough resources to get us through several months so he can really focus on his next move, and we’ve both got great professional networks, not to mention wonderful and resourceful family members and friends.  Yes, it’s scary to think that the money can and will eventually dry up and COBRA only lasts so long, but we both feel confident that this is simply an opportunity for the next door to open and lead us somewhere better.  Thankfully we’ve lived and learned enough to put this into perspective.  

I offered to come home the next day, but Dan said he was doing fine and wanted me to stay put and enjoy my time with my dad.  I had my doubts at first, and had a hard time sleeping that first night, but when he and I spoke the next day, he sounded so good, rejuvenated and positive that I realized he was right: No sense in my cutting my trip short and heading home early when he was rolling with it and getting a good jump on his job search without us underfoot.  As it turned out, he had gotten so many phone calls and emails from friends, coworkers and business contacts since sending out an email to everyone to let them know that he was no longer with his company that he had PLENTY of follow-up and networking to keep him busy.  

In just three short days, the man has received several solid leads on new positions, and we have countless friends putting out feelers elsewhere, so there’s every reason to believe that something will come through sooner rather than later.  He’s a great guy with tons of talent, experience and knowledge, and that hasn’t gone unnoticed in his career or elsewhere in his life.  It’s nice to know that so many people have reached out to offer their help in the circumstances, especially since the job market isn’t what it was even a few years ago.  

Downsizing stinks, no question about it.  But I think it’s entirely true that - while difficult and stressful at the time - it usually leads you to something bigger and better.  We both believe that we’ll look back on this in a year and laugh about it.  What else can you do?  

Onward and upward!