Not my daughter, but what she'll be wearing...

In exactly 4 days, 14 hours and 15 minutes, two moms, a three-year-old (The Loaf) and a two-year-old (Snack Pack) will start the long drive to Baltimore. The occasion is my older brother’s wedding, and the drive is not the only trek that will be made.

You see, beyond the 8 hours it will apparently take us to get to Maryland, The Loaf and Snackie, will be walking down the aisle. The Loaf in a tea-length white satin number, Snack in a full tuxedo — vest and bow tie included.

For the car ride, we’ve dowloaded loads of stories on the iPod along with the usual collection of musicals (Godspell and Hairspray are the tunes du jour). We have coloring books, toys… and the mini-DVD player with storybook videos in case of emergency (our kids don’t watch TV). Oh, and food — lots of food.

That’s a pretty good arsenal, right? Yes, this is our first road trip over 3 hours.

But the other journey is another story. I’m convinced the kids won’t walk down that aisle laced with strangers on each side, my wife is sure they will. I’m, horrifically, appearing in this show as well — in a real life bridesmaid’s gown, courtesy of David’s Bridal. And, I’ll be behind them in the procession. Patti — I can only assume — will be back there getting them ready… or perhaps dangling chocolate ice cream at the other end of the aisle.

Consider this post your before picture… wherein I’m totally open to your suggestions about how to make this all go down in a good way.