Driving my daughter to school this morning, I heard my morning radio show discussing a new study out that says if you want your kids to be passionate about art or athletics, you need to leave them alone.

Published in the latest Journal of Personality, the study was a collaboration with scientists from the Université de Montréal, the Université du Québec à Montreal and McGill University. And, according to Yahoo! News LiveScience, the study “focused on what psychologists call autonomy, the basic need to feel like you’re acting based on your own values and desires, not those of others. Controlling parents chip away at their child’s autonomy, by pushing them into a hobby, the researchers say. So when the kid picks up his clarinet it’s not out of a desire to play music, but due to a sense of obligation or a fear of disappointing his parents.”

The morning show hosts were divided about the results, with some pointing out the benefits of parents pushing kids to stick with things like piano lessons.  As one blogger said (in a post with a title I loved - ”They Say: Leave Those Kids Alone“): ”It’s a tough balance for parents to strike. We want our kids to learn the art of perseverance. We don’t want them to quit simply because they aren’t getting their way. Often pushing them to stick with it just another game or practice allows them the chance to finally ‘get’ how to make that jump shot or master ‘Three Blind Mice.’”

Me? I had a total flashback to when I faced that decision a couple of years ago. I blogged here then about my daughter’s desire to quit piano and got a lot of great feedback from our readers.

Today, our daughter’s only extra-curricular is Girl Scouts, but we do continue to make music accessible to her by providing her with instruments to experiment on in her own play (Santa didn’t bring her the full drum set she asked for this year, but compromised with a much smaller digital drum that’s, expectedly, seen a small amount of use). She is still expressing no real passion for an instrument, but does talk about voice lessons. And, very recently, she’s begun to talk about joining a swim team, which seems like a good fit because she is such a fish in our own backyard pool.

So, as we contemplate these activities, I’ll be heading into them with good advice our readers gave me before, and now also scientific study to help me feel better about not pushing too hard. That’s the sort of balance one of the study’s author’s talks about.

“I’m not telling parents to let their kids do whatever they want without limits,” Mageau said. “The most important message is to focus on the child’s interests and not to impose one’s own on them.”

A recent headline in Virtual World News certainly caught my eye: “FTC Study Finds ‘Explicit Sexual Content’ in Teen, Kids Virtual Worlds.”

Having written several reviews of kids virtual worlds here, I was at first relieved to not see any of them named in the article. Then, I got nervous when I found three of them listed as part of the survey sample: Build-a-Bear-ville, Handipoints and Pixie Hollow. However, after searching the report, the only mention of them I can find is in the appendix list of the survey sample; so, I’m hoping that is a sign that explicit content was not found in them.

But, to make sure, I dug into the FTC’s Virtual Worlds and Kids: Mapping the Risks - a 92-page report to Congress. All-in-all, I think it is rather balanced.

From a “master list” of 187 virtual worlds, the Commission constructed a sample of 27. Six were deliberatly included because they’d been identified as potentially containing explicit content. These worlds were Gaia, IMVU, There.com, Second Life, Red Light Center, and Kaneva - none of which are targeted at children under 13.

Fourteen of the 27 online virtual worlds in the Commission’s survey were open to children under age 13. Of these 14 virtual worlds, the Commission found at least one instance of explicit content on seven of them. All of that was observed when the Commission’s researchers visited those worlds posing as teen or adult registrants, not when visiting the worlds as children under 13 (with the exception of one world named Bots).
In six of these seven kid virtual worlds, the amount of explicit content observed was considered low.

Only in Stardoll, did the Commission find a moderate amount of explicit content. That’s one world I had thought of reviewing, but wasn’t sure it was right for my seven-year-old. Sounds like I might be wise to wait.

It’s interesting to see that they also note: “Because the Commission’s researchers examined these worlds with the express purpose of uncovering sexually and violently explicit content, it is unlikely that a typical user would stumble upon such content unintentionally.”

Almost all of the explicit content they found in the kid virtual worlds was text-based and was found in chat rooms, message boards, and discussion forums. In Stardoll, almost all of the explicit content observed was in the form of “violently explicit text posted on discussion boards. Again, however, none of the explicit content observed on Stardoll occurred when the Commission’s researchers registered as a child under age 13.47.”

Not surprisingly, the Commission found more explicit content in the online virtual worlds that are supposed to be closed to children under age 13 (“teen- and adult-oriented virtual worlds”). They found a greater concentration of explicit content in worlds that permit teens to register.

“Although some of the teen- and adult-oriented online virtual worlds in which the Commission observed explicit content have taken steps to restrict minors’ access to explicit content, their efforts have not fully succeeded. Virtual world operators can do more to limit youth exposure to explicit content. Given important First Amendment considerations, the Commission supports virtual world operators’ self-regulatory efforts to implement these recommendations.”

Some of the things they are suggesting include:

• better age-screening practices
• segregating users by age
• stronger language filters
• more community moderators, and
• parents and children alike should become better educated about online virtual worlds.

That last one is always the most important. Parents should never totally rely on age-screening mechanisms to keep their kids out of virtual worlds they shouldn’t be in — they’ll always find ways around registration restrictions.

It’s up to us to monitor where our kids are going online, teach them how to behave online, and teach them how to keep themselves safe when we’re not there.

As the Commission put it, “even properly registered children should be taught to make safe and responsible choices when communicating online, and to be cognizant of the risks posed by playing games and congregating in venues that may be designed for older audiences.”

What was the ultimate conclusion of the FTC Commission regarding explicit material in virtual worlds?

“Online virtual worlds provide children and teens with educational, social, and creative opportunities. However, as with other aspects of the Internet, youth may be exposed to explicit content while participating in online virtual worlds. Parents, therefore, should familiarize themselves with the features offered by the online virtual worlds their children visit. For their part, operators should ensure that they have mechanisms in place to limit youth exposure to explicit content in their online virtual worlds.”

I think that sums it up nicely.

Two coming attractions at the movie theater are based on books that both my girl and I have enjoyed reading - “Where the Wild Things Are” and “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.”

“Where the Wild Things Are” was a book that I read in my own childhood and a fellow bibliophile I used to work with (thanks Leslie) made sure my child got the chance to read it, too, by including it in a baby shower gift. The “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs” book came a little late for me, but my librarian mother introduced it to my girl and she and I both enjoyed it.

Now, bringing a book to the movie screen has always been fraught with danger. Everyone who has read a book has their own ideas about how the characters look, so casting can get a lot of fan input or backlash (Tom Cruise as Lestat anyone?). Storylines often get changed to meet a perceived desire of audiences to always have happy endings (think “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” and “The Scarlet Letter“). Sometimes entire characters are dropped or added, which frustrated me in “Angels and Demons,” despite the fact that I can understand things need to be edited sometimes to squeeze an entire book into a couple of hours of screen time.

That difficulty of making the in-depth short is probably the most common cause of changes that frustrate book lovers who see the movies based on them. But what of short childrens’ books that need to be expanded to make them long enough for a movie? Does that make it any easier for adaptation? I’m thinking not based strictly on my own mixed feelings about these two new movies.

It appears that they have expanded Cloudy primarily by adding a story in front of the story - giving the audience a tale of how the food first came to fall from the sky in the town of Chewandswallow - and I think this will work nicely.

But, from what I can tell from the fantastic Wild Things trailers, the 10 sentences of the original story are getting a lot of filler in between them - thus potentially changing the story a bit more. The live-action attempt at The Grinch Who Stole Christmas tried doing both and I don’t think the results were very spectacular there.

Obviously aware that I’m not the only one a bit leery of this, the studio has made a point to include original Wild Things author Maurice Sendak in many publicity events and he has been reporting saying the “Wild Things Movie Will Be Okay” as well as promising the “Wild Things Movie Will Be Dark and Controversial.”

Hmm…

Either way, I will probably see both movies. Not needing an excuse to watch kids’ movies, after all, is one of the perks of this mommy gig, right? And, while I will definitely enter the Wild Things theater with trepidation and concern that the book will never read the same for me again, I bet this trailer makes you want to see more, too.

(The Arcade Fire song on this Wild Things trailer really helps inspire a sense of wonder and the desire to see it - too bad word is it won’t be in the actual movie.)

Related articles by Zemanta

• Childhood Memories Coming to a Theater Near You (firstbook.org)
• Watch This: Maurice Sendak Talks ‘Wild Things’ (cinematical.com)
• Dave Eggers’ 300-Page Storybook Adaptation (mediabistro.com)
• Jonze And Sendak Meeting Like Something From A Spike Jonze Movie (cinemablend.com)

This is part of a series of posts looking at virtual worlds targeted toward kids.

It seems appropriate to be writing this review from a vacation beach house that has mezuzos on the door posts, since the virtual world of Shidonni is an Israeli start-up.

The first kid’s virtual world we’ve encountered that runs on Microsoft’s Flash competitor Silverlight (be prepared to download it before playing), it is most unique for the fact that kids get to draw their own virtual animals. We’re not just talking about picking and choosing avatar styles or clothing - Shidonni presents a blank slate for artistic children ages 6-12 to draw an animal and watch it come to life. They also draw the virtual backyard or home their animal lives in, and they draw food and their animal eats it!

In no time at all, my girl had populated the world with a dog and cat which soon had a kitten. Then after I read this post about the easy tutorials, she followed some of them and added a penguin, a turtle and a bird to her menagerie. Next, she started playing games with them and visiting other worlds.

A blogger shot this video of Guy Bendov, head of marketing and business development at Shidonni at Seedcamp Tel-Aviv explaining the virtual world. It’s nice to hear the view from the inside:

The Good

Shidonni has found a unique angle in a field that is rather glutted. I like the creativity it fosters by allowing kids to really build their world. My girl thought it sounded a bit boring when I first mentioned it to her after reading about it in Virtual World News; but, after seeing her first drawing come to life, she was hooked.

This world is a good one for younger children because it requires little to no reading skills, and has a number of simple games like chutes and ladders or puzzles made from your drawings. There is also plenty to do with the free account, but if you choose to upgrade to a membership (typical “freemium” style) you get more colors, brushes and stamps  with which to draw.

The Bad

While extensive language skills are not required to play Shidonni, it can be rather hard to draw on a computer if you’re not used to it. My girl preferred drawing with her finger on the trackpad of our laptop, rather than the mouse. If you happen to have a graphics pad, I bet it would be better.

If you are looking to make connections with others in-world, it is not exactly easy. While the fact that you must know someone’s user ID before you can connect with them as a friend is good for privacy and protection of children, it also makes it difficult to interact with others. And, if you’re thinking about inviting a friend to join so you can make that virtual connection with a real life buddy, your option for facilitating it is a set of invitations you have to print and hand or mail to them.

The Lessons Learned

Overall, Shidonni seems to be a very unique entry into the kid-targeted virtual world market. The very thing that makes it unique, however, also means a little preparation might be useful before heading in-world. Our recommentation would be to do a few practice draws on paper or on another drawing application before you begin drawing your virtual pet. My girl was rather disappointed with her first efforts, which could impede the desire to continue in those easily frustrated.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Shidonni Makes Kids’ Pets Come Alive (blonde2dot0.com)
• You: HOW TO: Bring Animal Drawings to Life (mashable.com)

I’m not a big fan of noise.

Some people seem to thrive on it. Loud music, crowded parties, auditory chaos. Not for me. A walk in the woods, a good book out on the deck, a one-on-one conversation with a friend - that’s how I roll.

But, I have kids. Five of them. Boys. And that means…noise. Lots of it!

Twenty+ years of noise (thus far), with about 11 more to go.

Of course, I love my kids, and I know that an inescapable part of the package is barely-controlled chaos. But as I get older, I find myself yearning for the mythical empty nest state, where things aren’t broken daily, bickering is someone else’s problem, and interruptions are chosen instead of imposed. Of course, at that point I’ll probably start to miss the whirlwind, and be demanding time with future grandchildren. Maybe I’ll yearn for some noise. But then again - maybe not.

I met a young married lady at an event this week and she has three boys, all under the age of five (one set of twins). She described the state of her house, from the moment the kids got up, as “airborne”! Perfect.

Truth be told, I secretly enjoy the liveliness (mostly). But I find myself trying to carve out little moments of escape, some safe harbors from the kaleidoscope of chaos. My RAM is beginning to fill up with sound files. My hard disk is getting fragmented. It’s just one of the job hazards of being a long-time parent, I guess - when you’re young, your signal-to-noise filtering capacity is greater. At this stage, I yearn for more signal, and a lot less noise!

I’m thankful that I have kids, and many would give their right arm to be in my shoes. But as all parents can attest - some days your bell gets rung one too many times by the percussions of parenting. The result: kid concussions! Punch drunk parents just looking for a little peace and quiet.

So, if you ever see me in a large group setting, looking ill at ease among the sound waves, do me a favor and lead me to a quiet corner for a chat. Or, if you want to come over and supervise the kids for a long weekend, that’s an offer that will be seriously considered! Finding a safe harbor from the aural maelstrom will always be much appreciated…!

(Image credit)

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Connect with Steve Woodruff

Cross-posted on Writing Roads

This morning, we had to do a little family health test. It wasn’t a big deal, but three of us need to find out what we’re allergic too - and that takes blood, in case you didn’t know.

I went first. I put on my bravest face and told my toddlers that it was no big deal. But the finger stick kind of hurt…and then I didn’t seem to have much blood - couldn’t tell you why - so I was squeezing and strangling my ring finger trying to fill the four circles on the paper. I bruised the hell out of my finger, but eventually I got the job done.

The Snack Pack went next. He was crying before he started. He didn’t want to get his hands washed, he didn’t want to do any of it. He screamed like the lancet was a jousting pole (sorry, watching The Tudors) or a sword. And then, the blood flowed freely out of his finger, like a beer tap. He announced five minutes later that it still hurt.

The Loaf was the last victim. She told us that she loved to get blood tests while we were washing her hands. She said, “that’s it?” when we pricked her finger. She was fascinated by the blood dripping out and wanted to make sure all of her test circles were filled and perfect. She couldn’t wait for her bandage.

Who are you in this story - today or every day? Do you muscle through and have to work extra hard for results? Are you negative and whiny? Or can you hardly wait to try something new and you’re bringing your sparkling attitude with it?

Image courtesy of Soller Photo

When I was growing up, the gender-based envy was always centered around the penis. At least in my family - with a dad, 2 brothers and 3 boy cousins - penis envy was all the rage.

But something happened today that made me think that my kids were different. Maybe it’s their generation…or maybe this tendency was always there, but the penises were keeping it quiet.

Make no mistake, there simply aren’t enough penises in this house to keep this under wraps.

My kids were playing with their horses this morning and talking about how the horses were their babies in their bellies. After months of this game, my wife finally laid it out for my 3 year-old daughter, “Actually, your baby lives in a special place right below your belly, it’s called your uterus.”

“Me too! I have a baby in my uterus!” said my son, all of 2.5.

“Well, actually…” Patti began, “girls have uteruses, boys don’t.”

He immediately protested, and I shouted down from upstairs, “You have a prostate - it’s really cool.”

“NO! I don’t want a proterate! I have a uterus, too!” He demanded.

Sophie, our sweet, sweet girl said, “I’ll share my uterus with you, Jackie.”

But, he wasn’t having it. “I want my own.”

We totally succumbed. Uterus’ are pretty cool, brilliant in fact. So, we told him he could have one… and they ran off together to grow their horse family… from the belly down.

Fantastic image courtesty of Caveman 92223

This is part of a series of posts looking at virtual worlds targeted toward kids.

A commenter on my Handipoints review here asked if I’d heard of another world called SecretBuilders. His child’s teacher had mentioned it, but he was concerned about the safety. (Teachers seem to have been early PR targets during the world’s testing phase, and have their own section on the web site.)

It’s taken a while for us to get back on our safari, and in the meantime it appears that the SecretBuilders world officially launched. So, we’ve taken time here during the holidays to go check it out.

SecretBuilders.com

The style of graphics is very similar to Club Penguin, although the avatars are human figures. The intentions are higher than many other kid-targeted worlds, as their site says they view children not as consumers, “but rather as creative, ingenious beings that will help build a vibrant virtual world that will also impact their real world.”

Screenshot of a room in SecretBuilders

The Good

SecretBuilders is designed primarily for children 5 to 14 years of age and is free to join and use. And, they are very concious of privacy concerns. My six-year-old was able to complete the account set-up process essentially own her own. She only needed my assistance for a parent’s e-mail account, which for safety reasons they require of all children under 12.
Also, restricted chat is the default for those under 9 and parents are required to approve additions to their buddy lists. Free chat is available to children over 10 but moderators will still screen out inappropriate language and speech including bullying, harassment, intimidation as well as revelation of any personal identity information.
In addition to interacting with other children in the Secret Builders world, there are opportunities to chat with historical figures such as Shakespeare and Einstein and fictional characters via artificial intelligence (AI). These characters are supposed to chat with children vis-à-vis a monitored chat dialogue and provide guidance on places and activities in SecretBuilders. The only one we’ve encountered so far was called “The Beast” and looked like the Big Bad Wolf, but I’m guessing was from the Beauty and the Beast story. Results of the AI chat were rather mixed - can’t say it was an easy conversation to follow.

The Bad
It was hard to find much to dislike about Secret Builders. After my girl went back on her own to give her friend from next door a tour, I asked her if she had any criticisms. She said it was cool, easy to move around and had fun things to do (she and her BFF were taking turns painting a picture at that moment).
However, I did have some difficulty finding how to edit the settings of her account after it was set up. Apparently, she must have entered her age incorrectly because free chat was available on her account, as well as safe chat. I couldn’t find a parental login, so I tried logging in as her to edit, but still couldn’t find a way to change it.

The Lessons Learned
While it’s nice from a user experience perspective to know that even the younger users can get started using SecretBuilders without a lot of help, parents should still be involved in the initial set-up to ensure everything is done the way you want it to be.

The one thing I was left wondering after a couple of visits to SecretBuilders was just where the name came from. Were the kids secretly building or building secrets or what? Not being able to really find that answer online, I finally took a shot at sending a note to the generic e-mail address on the site. I soon heard back from Umair Khan, CEO of SecretBuilders:

“We named our world and our community SecretBuilders because it is a world whose builders are children themselves. Children will build this world out, with their ideas, suggestions, creativity and activities. They will build out this world both by helping build venues and features, and also by providing content for others to consume (by publishing articles in our magazine for e.g.) We will provide them with more and more tools, activities and features to help them do so.”

Doesn’t sound so secret, but it does sound very admirable!

For another good review of SecretBuilders, check out: Kids Computer Games Recommendations

Laura P. Thomas is the wife of a former rocker and mother of one 6-year-old girl that’s already waaay too interested in The Jonas Brothers. (the apple didn’t fall far) She works in the Global Online team at Dell, evangelizes virtual worlds, and twitters too much as LPT.