Corey Smith is the proud father of four wonderful children. They provide the foundation for everything that he does. Corey’s daytime job is that of a serial entrepreneur. In addition to developing websites for Dealer Marketing Systems as their Chief Web Architect, he maintains a business and technology blog, a news source for the office product industry and about 10 other projects. You can also find him on Twitter, FriendFeed, LinkedIn.
Civil disobedience in the house. Mass destruction. Defiance of order and peace.
Yeah… I have four kids.
Fortunately, I have a smart wife… with a budget.
My wife reads a lot. She then modifies what she learns to fit our family. She has always taught me that positive reinforcement provides much greater results than anything negative ever could (you can catch more flies…).
One night, about three months ago, she went to the store and came home with a fish bowl and a lot of decorative rocks.
She had a new idea.
She put the fish bowl on top of a platter that she had and then put all of the rocks around the fish bowl.
The next day, we had a great conversation with the kids. Here were the rules.
- If you are kind to someone without being asked, we put a rock in the fish bowl.
- If you help someone without being asked, we put a rock in the fish bowl.
- If you are happy, we put a rock in the fish bowl.
- If you are obedient the first time, we put a rock in the fish bowl.
- If you are considerate of others, we put a rock in the fish bowl.
Get the idea?
We told our children that when all the rocks were inside the fish bowl, we would get a trampoline. 
The seven and five year olds both understood right away. The three year old figured it out in about an hour. Even the two year old wanted to earn rocks.
We put as many rocks in as we could so they could see progress. (Of course, when we were getting to the goal too fast for our budget, we pulled some out after they were asleep at night… I know… we’re mean.)
They began finding ways for us to put more rocks in.
They said, “thank you” more.
They were nicer and more respectful.
One day, the seven year old was being mean and we pulled some rocks out. That behavior stopped very quickly.
Now, we have a nice 14′ trampoline and the kids love it. (I hope there are no broken bones in our future)
They are now working toward their next reward (which they picked).
Oh… there are still days that are rough. There are still moments of chaos. But, kids will be kids. At least they are learning that there can be a reward for good behavior. And they are learning how to be nice to each other… without Mom and Dad going too crazy.
Really, though, I think the biggest benefit is that now Mom and Dad are more conscientious of rewarding good behavior instead of always harping on bad behavior.
