I get out of the shower, put on my robe and head to the stairs to go wake my girl up this morning. There she sits at the top of them, all dressed and ready. I say “Good morning Sunshine” and she bursts into tears.

“I didn’t get any money!” she wails. Huh? Bad dream? Still sort of asleep?

Then it hits me. The tooth that had hung on forever was still sitting on her nightstand. The Tooth Fairy had forgotten it. Oh, what a horrible sinking feeling to know you’ve let your child down.

(image by Baddog_ via Creative Commons)

The leaving it on the nightstand was a new thing I was trying with this fourth tooth, and turned out to be both good and bad. Good that I now had an excuse.

“She must not have seen it there,” I could explain.

Bad because Mom had promised her there was no way it would be missed, and now the Tooth Fairy has to go back to digging around under the pillow to find it.

Tears dried eventually with reassurances that tonight we’d put it back in the traditional place and she’d find it, and we proceeded to breakfast. But, I still felt major guilt.

I tweeted, “Worst. Mom. Ever. The tooth fairy totally forgot to pick up a tooth last night. Girl crushed. Mom crushed.” And, was reassured to hear back that I was not the only one who’d had this happen. Several people presented good ideas for follow up, and I even shared one of them with her to show my girl that it wasn’t so uncommon.

So, we both found reassurance and absolution. And, tonight the tooth fairy delivered - including a little extra left to make up for the slight delay.

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About a year ago, I was fortunate enough to see Karol Rose of Flexpaths speak. This burgeoning company, and Karol along with it, is changing the way we think about work, workstyle flexibility and life in general….and I’m thrilled to be writing for them. After I saw Karol speak, I wrote about her theory of work/life balance - which basically states that the quest for ‘balance’ is a myth and a recipe for heartache and stress.

Karol maintains that we should reach for work/life effectiveness instead, and this weekend I was the poster child for her theory.

Take a two year-old boy + a three year-old girl + a Blackberry/Mac/Writing/Blogging/Twitter obsessed mom and subtract my wife (you know, the reigning Mother of the Year champ) and put them together for 53 hours with no outside help whatsoever.

The perfect storm?

It could have been, but I took Karol’s advice to heart. I needed to be effective at home this weekend. So, I turned off my computer, ignored my Blackberry’s charming gong that tells me I have yet another email and sunk deeply and contentedly into my role as Mom…And I had the time of my life.

Sure, some writing ideas popped into my head and I scribbled them down. Once or twice I checked Twitter to see what was happening. But my mindset was all about home. I can assure you that if I had had the goal of getting a few work things done this weekend, we all might have imploded.

In this case, ‘balance’ was found by tipping the scales profoundly and completely in the direction of home.

Apply this lesson where you will. If you’d like to be effective anywhere, anyhow, anytime - Just. Do. IT.

Cross-posted on Writing Roads

Image courtesy of Zen

Hi. My name is Laura and I’ve been twittering for two years. (this is where you say “Hi Laura!”) Don’t know what Twitter is? Here’s a great video explanation: Twitter in Plain English

While some might think it is an addiction, I view it as more of an ingrained communication channel much like the cell phone and e-mail have become. Lots of people are using it, including many celebrities as wide-ranging as Lance Armstrong and Brittney Spears. But, I don’t usually follow many of them. It seems they either update rarely (hello Luke Wilson) or don’t fully engage by following others or replying to tweets.

But, I’ve begun to watch something interesting develop with a celebrity family on the site: Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk), Demi Morre (@mrskutcher) and now her daughter Rumer (@therue)

I discovered them through a news article about Ashton’s comments regarding the recent brouhaha surrounding Michael Phelps and apparently his comments about neighbors had previously caused a stir. He is obviously updating often and appears to be engaging with those who talk to him through Twitter.

Some think that the couple’s tweets about upcoming projects are just for publicity, but that strikes me as a bit self-rightous. I mean, hey, aren’t about half of everyone’s tweets a bit of self publicity? I tend to think she means it when Demi replies that they just find Twitter fun!

And, now she’s encouraged her daughter Rumor to join that fun:

I’ve tried to interest my husband in Twitter several times, but with no success. Since my girl is only six, getting her on has not crossed my mind, but if she were Rumer’s age it might. It could give us both greater insight into each other’s day - that chance to look through each other’s eyes.

What do you think? Could this new means of connection be good for families?

[UPDATE: Looks like M.C. Hammer (yes, he of big pants fame) is getting in on the family twitter act, introducing his son to the world recently]

Screenshot of MCHammer twitter

Laura P. Thomas is the wife of a former rocker and mother of one 6-year-old girl that’s already waaay too interested in The Jonas Brothers (the apple didn’t fall far). She works in the Global Online team at Dell, evangelizes virtual worlds, and twitters too much as LPT.

It’s likely that my opinion is very different from others who contribute to this blog because we are a diverse group, which is something I like and something I think is representative of mothers the world over. But, there’s a little uproar going on that I just have to add my two cents to - and maybe my fellow moms here will provide a counterpoint.

The who-ha was apparently created by this:

I watch the ad and see a tongue-in-cheek, sassy take on the truth that not only wearing your baby, but also all the other ways we wag out children around wreak havoc on our backs and bodies. You just have to admit that.

Others, however, see it as insulting, a personal attack on what they consider the only proper way to carry a baby and as an insult to motherhood in general. Some fear it will prevent other moms or moms-to-be from experiencing the joy of wearing their babies. You’ve got to read the comments on a post titled “Motrin: The Anti-Mom?” to really get a taste of it.

Oh please. Lighten up! Oh, yeah, you can’t because you’re carrying an extra 15 or so pounds of child with you everywhere. I should probably take that back. I mean, I’ve just been more offensive than that Motrin ad, right? Flame away folks. If a sling or whatever works for you, then fine, but don’t get all righteous about it. It’s that attitude that led total strangers in the check-out line at Target to feel they had the right to inquire whether I would breast feed when they saw I was pregnant.

Bloggers and Twitterers have yelled loud enough that Motrin is now pulling the ad and issuing apologies to those who complain. I suppose they have to - to try to take on an attack of mommy bloggers would be a public relations mess. But, I just had to go on the record as saying I think this is all an over-reaction. Probably due to the fact that my mother didn’t breast feed me or carry me in a sling as a child; and, I’ve doomed my own daughter to be the same maladjusted human because the only time I carried her on my body was in a backpack as I meshed with the masses at the Austin City Limits Festival.

And while I’m here admitting to being a terrible mother because I did not strap my child on me at all times possible, let me go ahead and lay out all my dirty mommy laundry — I work long hours outside of the house, put my girl in day care at two months old, and didn’t breast feed. Egads!

How long do I have before someone calls Child Protective Services on me?

Laura P. Thomas is the wife of a former rocker and mother of one 6-year-old girl that’s already waaay too interested in The Jonas Brothers. (the apple didn’t fall far) She works in the Global Online team at Dell, evangelizes virtual worlds, and twitters too much as LPT.

“Some of my friends are on Facebook,” my daughter told me the other day. We were riding in the car, both facing forward, but I noticed her gauge my reaction with a quick sideways glance. “Anyway,” said Caroline, who is 11 going on 41, “I don’t think it’s appropriate.”

Later, I checked out the Facebook profiles of a few names she mentioned, friends who — like Caroline — just started middle school. Because Facebook doesn’t allow users under age 13 who aren’t in high school to set up a profile, the sixth-graders lied about their ages and about what school they attend. I noticed quite a number of them –- maybe 30 or 40 that I recognized. I noticed the profile of one girl’s mother, too, networked with all of those kids.

As I’ve written in the past, social networking is definitely trending younger and younger.  And it’s occasionally an awkward place to network – when I bump into Caroline’s almost 17-year-old brother there, I always politely turn aside like I didn’t actually see him, sort of like if I accidentally walked in on him in the bathroom. It’s just that weird for us to be Facebook “friends.”

Generally, I think it’s fascinating to observe the very definition of a “social circle” shifting and expanding and the notion of “play” expanding as our kids, tweens and teens participate in Runescape, or Club Penguin, or Webkinz.

But at the same time, it gnaws at me to see 11-year-olds on Facebook, using their actual photos, with their actual identities. Setting aside the dishonesty that’s required to open an account for a minute –- and yes, that bugs me — I worry about them exposing too much of themselves online before they can really grasp the implications of it.

Do I want them to start a digital trail before they’ve really had a sense of understanding what’s appropriate to share, and what’s not, what’s okay to talk about, and what’s not? No matter how much I trust my kids, Facebook remains a public forum with very public repercussions. And being a parent for almost 17 years, I’ve learned not to be too surprised when kids have a giant lapse of judgment. Things happen.

Given that my own digital trail is fairly well-traveled, I realize how odd my position might sound. Maybe I should just relax? I thought. So I asked other people – some parents, some not — what they thought, via the microblogging tool Twitter. Here were their responses to the question:

“Would it bother you to see your 11-year-old on Facebook?”

@matthewbennett: surely it’s really easy for teenagers to get around anyway if they want to - “I was really born in ..mmm, let’s see…1956″ … and given that, should probably just teach them how to use it properly.

@melfi: reverse. it would bother me to see my mom on facebook. facebook has become what AIM was 10 years ago for kids

@idaho_jamie: No, because I understand FB and would PARENT him/her and monitor. No different then skateboarding, etc.

@MikeDriehorst: Yes, it would — without my permission. Wife & I (mostly her) very, very cautious about exposing any of our kids’ ID online… With openness of soc media - good and evil - it’s not worth exposing our kids to whoever may be lurking.

@sonnygill: Yes. I think at that age, children need to grow and nurture their friends/relationships through face-to-face interaction… Basically, it’s important for kids at that age to grow their relationship skills, not w/a Facebook page, but w/real-life.

@amachina: YES! I have two kids, 10&12. Not allowed on FB, MySpace. I tell them about [internet predators], but they’re too sheltered to get it.

@Jennydecki: No. My three year old knows what Twitter is. They won’t know how to market products/services if they aren’t familiar.

@rockandrollmama: Yes, it would. I shut my 12 yr old down about FB the other day. He doesn’t get the risks, and there’s no reason for it.

@JessicaGottlieb: yes it would. Before we send our kids out we have to prepare them. Play alone in the park first.

@StacieAndrews: Not really - we can’t let social media die with us (like it could) but nurture the next generation of social media-ists

@Nedra: I don’t think an 11 y o has the judgment yet to know what’s appropriate to share on Facebook (not that many 20 yr olds do!). My 10-yo has a blog, but it’s anonymous. Facebook is not anon, and therefore more potential problems re: safety/social issues.

@FiurInformation: 11 y o online in FBook would be OK only like any other online experience at that age — with parental supervision.

@jamesdickey: We absolutely do not allow our 12 or 14-year-old to have facebook/myspace pages. Too risky and very little benefit.

@busymom6: Yes, from the Facebook research I’ve done I think it is a completely social group for anyone underage

@JackLeblond: with proper guidence, I would be OK with it. Both mine were online young, with rules

@NoOneYouKnow: Nope - my 9 y.o. has a job/intern at www.creaturepark.com and email. Why not FB? However, he can’t friend me just yet ;).

@johnheaney: my kids can be on Facebook with conditions: only friends can see profile, I have the password, strict rules on posting

@leah_mullen: Yes it would bother me to see my 10 y o on a social networking site with adults.Amazing Kids! has a great pen pal program.

@DeirdreS: my daughter is now 19 and has been online since age ~10, pre-Facebook. online communications skills are essential today

@GriffinClubMerv: I have an 11 and a 12yo. We wouldn’t allow it. We have a zero tolerance policy on Internet privacy for children.

@mlogan: Yes. I recently found my 9 y o daughter had joined a socnet site. I let her stay, but made her take down pix and personal info

@EllasMom: It would bother me to see any 11 y.o. on facebook. They are too young to understand where the boundaries of privacy exist.

@kirstenewatson: My 12 yr old is on facebook but I am one of his facebook friends - its a rule - 6 months or so and counting - so far ok

@busymom6: Yes, in fact I just was alerted to my 13 yr old having a fb page by my sitter, all hell broke loose around here

@robertlendvai: My 11yr old daughter is on FB. She knows that I look at her postings, chats, etc She’s cool with that.

@jennysoucek FB is like the new AIM, parents didn’t like their kids using AIM with all the weirdos up there, FB could expose them to the same 4 minutes ago

@pdeluca It would not bother me. My 11 y o has a cell phone which we monitor, FB is no different. Plus, we have many relatives on FB. 18 minutes ago

@SusyP I’m nowhere close to being married or having kids, and the idea of an 11 y o on fbook terrifies me and makes me nervous to be a parent.

@Note_to_CMO It would bother me. His blog is private. His LinkedIn page is down.

@chelpixie Yes it bothers me to see my 13 year old on Facebook. It depends on the interactions and I wasn’t comfortable with hers.

@jpickett1968 I saw a picture of my 15 year old, kissing her boyfriend. I wasn’t too happy.

@eugenelee Many of my tech laggard parent friends joined Facebook specifically because their kids were and they wanted to monitor.

As you can see, the responses are all over the board – some say lighten up, some say not in a million years, some say a qualified yes – with plenty of supervision.

My take is that this this isn’t an easy issue. There’s  no obvious answer, like there is to “Should I let my kid smoke crack?” But some questions are tougher to answer. Life online, and offline, these days, requires a far more nuanced touch.

So what do you think? How would you feel about letting your underage child on Facebook? Please leave a comment below.

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Ann Handley heads up content at MarketingProfs and also writes her acclaimed personal blog, A n n a r c h y: Subscribe to A n n a r c h y here. It’s really fun to follow her on Twitter.